Tag Archives: bus

Kindergartener Hitchhikes Home After School Bus Drops Him Off 75 Miles From Home

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School bus driver drops young Fargo kindergarten boy off in Valley City.

Valley City, ND – A Fargo child who was attending his first week of kindergarten somehow mistakenly got dropped off in Valley City by the school bus that was to bring him home.

The child eventually did get back home by hitchhiking the 75 miles because he had “seen how to hitchhike on TV.”

The boy’s parents, who were already totally freaking out when their young boy was not on the after-school bus, freaked out even more upon discovering what had actually happened.

The bus driver claims he did not know the boy was still on the bus.

The company that owns the bus (whose slogan is “We put the bus in business!”) says it sadly regrets and strongly denies that it ever happened.

The boy, who is doing fine, says Valley City looked like a very nice place to possibly move to when he gets older.

Moral of the story: If your bus driver is dumb, you can get home with your thumb.

Man Who Had Just Figured Out Solution To Climate Change Problem Hit By Bus

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Man with a plan no longer can remember it after getting hit by a bus.

Fargo, ND – Mr. Lonnie Clayhanger had just had the ultimate solution to the Global Climate Change problem suddenly dawn on him.

While he was then attempting to carefully walk across the street to jot it down at a Subway sandwich shop, Mr. Clayhanger was sadly hit by a driverless city bus.

Unfortunately for our entire global community, the accident has left Lonnie with acute, Level III amnesia.

As expected, the driver of the driverless bus has officially been cited for distracted driving by use of a smartphone.

Moral: Don’t cross the street to jot down your idea.

Busload Of Fargo Folks Heading To The Royal Wedding

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This beautiful bus will be bringing some very excited Fargoans to see the big Royal Wedding!

Fargo, ND – What started out as just a joking comment during some weekend beers in a garage has now turned into an official chartered bus that will be bringing a full busload of people from Fargo, North Dakota to attend the Royal Wedding in England.

“Yah, me and some of our neighbors kinda got this-here idea started, and then all of a sudden we got ourselves a full bus going to see Prince Hairy tie the knot with that Markle gal from America,” says Clyde Hammerschmidt of North Fargo.

Just in case they have any last-minute cancellations, please let Clyde Hammerschmidt know if you would like to be a stand-by substitute traveller to go see a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see a historical wedding of Royal proportions.

New Driverless Motorcycles Expected To Make Roads Safer

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Driverless motorcycles are way safer than cars driven by texting drivers.

La Honda, CA – A new line of motorcycles just introduced by Honda will be able to drive themselves.

Soon, along with driverless cars and buses, expect to be seeing driverless motorcycles on your highways and byways.

Honda’s first model of driverless motorcycles is called The Headless Horseman, which is considered to be the world’s first smartcycle.

These amazing new motorcycles can start themselves, drive themselves, as well as park and refuel if necessary.

Tests have shown that The Honda Headless Horseman is infinitely safer than a car or bus operated by a drunk or distracted driver, and Honda is sure we all agree this is a very good thing.

FMO Planning An Exciting Bus Tour Excursion For Our Readers To The Fossil Fish Festival

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Join us for the Fossil Fish Festival. It’s a fun way to waste a weekend and also a great way to meet people you normally would want to avoid.

West Fargo, ND – The FMO Tour Bus is being cleaned out (from our last trip to the State Prison) for our next Reader Tour Fun Package!

Where are we going this time? To Wyoming, to see the amazing Fossil Fish Festival on February 18th!

You may ask yourself: Whyoming? Well, because that’s where the Fossil Fish Festival is being held – in Laramie, which is in the state of Wyoming, which is somewhere North of Colorado.

This will be the 30th anniversary of the designation of the wonderful fossil fish “Knightia”, who is Wyoming’s official state fossil which evolved roughly 50 million years ago!

This extinct fossil fish has served as Wyoming’s State Fossil Fish for 30 years and because it is so similar to herring, they will be serving expensive pickled herring for a nominal fee of $50 per person.

Sign up for our Fossil Fish Festival Fun Package at our Corporate Office Park.

The cost for the entire Fun Package is $999.99 which does not include any food, drinks, lodging, tips, and/or emergency medical attention.

Sign up early and often so we have enough time to do some extreme vetting into your personal life and of those who may be sitting next to you for the 36 hour round trip.

Large School Bus Full Of Illegal Aliens To Pass Between Earth And Moon

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This is possibly the first of many busloads of illegal aliens trying to enter the U.S. by flying in over the new Trump Wall.

Moonshine, Illinois – Top scientists from our top-notch science department are warning that a large school bus believed to be full of illegal aliens will be passing between the Earth and the Moon soon.

It is not known who if anyone is drinking while driving this bus nor whether or not it will be just passing on through, making subsequent secondary passes, or perhaps even make a stop for supplies and maby even an extended visitation without representation.

The well-respected Dr. Goytam Tesfalem believes that these so-called illegal aliens might even be trying to 1. either leave this sector to escape paying back taxes, or 2. use the space bus to get over the Trump Wall and freely enrolled in Obamacare.

Spaceologists are wanting to point out that the space-travelling busload of alien freeloaders will be visible during upcoming night skies and there is even a chance they may land in your back yard so you might want to stock up on a variety of refreshments so as to be prepared and not seem like you didn’t expect to be having some unexpected guests drop in directly from space, the penultimate frontier.

Gawk Tour Bus To Visit Pipeline Protest Site Without Getting Involved

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Sign up now for the next Gawk Tour Bus trip to see the Dakota Access Pipeline Protest up close.

Sign up now for the next Gawk Tour Bus trip to see the Dakota Access Pipeline Protest up close.

Dapl, ND – Have you been wanting to see what’s going on with the Dakota Access Pipeline protesters without really getting involved?

Would you like to watch history in the making while a major altercation is playing out?

Gawk Tours will soon be taking groups of people to near the front lines of a major national news story while sitting comfortably in a tour bus sipping fresh coffee and snacking on scones.

Gawk Tours is a division of the Rubberneck Corporation which has been safely giving onlookers easy access to major happenings such as aftermaths of hurricanes and flashpoints of social unrest for years.

Gawk Tour president Stanley Ogler: “Instead of having hundreds of cars doing the rubberneck drive-by of some point of interest, we put them all in a big bus and make it a fun group learning experience.”

If you would like to join the next Gawk Tour to go see angry people getting ready to camp outside during a North Dakota winter, simply sign up and wait at one of the many convenient pick-up points using the new Gawk Tour app. Oh, and don’t forget to bring your camera!

New Designated Driver ‘Party Bus’ Offers Free Rides To Bars In The Fargo Area

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Fargo’s New Party Bus offers free rides to all bars!

Fargo, ND – Fargo is now offering a new free service for those who have been drinking. It is called the Party Bus!

The Party Bus will provide drinkers free rides to and from all bars in the Fargo and West Fargo area. As punishment for tearing down Ralph’s and Kirby’s, Moorhead is not included.

If you and your friends have been drinking quite heavily, perhaps after a heart-breaking Bison football loss, just use your smartphone app to request a free ride to your next pub on the Party Bus!

This free service, which is thoughtfully provided by Alcoholics Anonymous, will only be available from noon to midnight and will run every Thursday through Sunday.

Have you been wanting to get out more and do more binge drinking but were always worried about getting pulled over by the cops? Now you can, and leave all the driving to the Party Bus!