March 30th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Moscow, Idaho – A Russian Roulette Club is actively seeking one new member to fill the vacant seat of a former member who suffered a mishap. “In any game of chance you have your ups and downs, and unfortunately for...
March 18th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – What was to be a celebratory reminder to everyone to not panic during a Global Pandemic has been cancelled due to lack of toilet paper. Panicfest organizers made the tough decision to cancel the first annual...
February 20th, 2019 | by
Johnnny Stanford, CA – Would you like to live forever? What if you had the option of not aging? Medical researchers now think that if you can live another 30–50 years, you might be able to live as long as you want without...
September 15th, 2017 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – Henry Doofus was booked on charges of felonious attempted robbery after he tried to rob a convenience store while only carrying a pillow as a weapon. The store clerk, Richard Stonewall, at first thought it was a...
January 20th, 2017 | by
Johnnny West Fargo, ND – Security Test Labs is seeking more volunteers to help test out some new bullet proof jackets poised to soon hit the market. Volunteers will be compensated for their time and trouble but must first sign a...
November 18th, 2016 | by
Johnnny Cincinnati, OH – Family members of the recently murdered, captive, and endangered silverback named Harambe (pronounced Harambe) have lawyered up and plan to sue the zoo where Harambe was shot while assisting a young,...
June 11th, 2014 | by
Nick In the wake of what has been the 74th school shooting since the Newtown massacre, school districts are taking a proactive steps to better prepare their kids for the sort of danger that could potentially take place within...
January 28th, 2013 | by
Nick Birmingham, AL – Deranged gun zealots across the nation are banding together in a show of defiance over the Obama administration’s looming gun law initiatives. A gun guy in Alabama is leading the charge by launching...
