February 7th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – A new dog is being added to the K-9 team of the Fargo Police Department. Tweek is his name and detecting weirdness is his claim to fame. K–9 Tweek is trained to sniff out any and all types of weird...
April 2nd, 2019 | by
Johnnny Lickota, ND – A man was reportedly licked to death while attending a police Meet and Greet social event. The man, whose name is not being released until his family is notified, was identified as Mucciolo Knight from...
October 7th, 2018 | by
Johnnny Moorhead, MN – During a relatively relaxing autumn round of par-free golf, Mr. Gotlib Haycraft was suddenly hit by a golf cart while trying to hit his tee shot on the par 3 seventh hole at the new Bogie Man Golf Course in...
May 29th, 2018 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – Some home owners in South Fargo have recently been reporting having had their homes broken into, but nothing was stolen. In each and every similar instance, these home break-ins resulted in re-arranged...
November 2nd, 2017 | by
Johnnny Moorhead, MN – Police in the quirky town of Moorhead were very surprised to find 800 pounds of Qiameth in the trunk of a car that they found parked at a stop sign. The Qiameth, which is known to be 1,000 times more powerful...
September 15th, 2017 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – Henry Doofus was booked on charges of felonious attempted robbery after he tried to rob a convenience store while only carrying a pillow as a weapon. The store clerk, Richard Stonewall, at first thought it was a...
March 17th, 2017 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – Nyork Slocco, who calls the general downtown Fargo area his home, was arrested by police for “dawdling“. “No man! You got it all wrong. I was in no way dawdling! Dallying a bit maybe, yes, but...
March 16th, 2017 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – Aerial sprayers working in conjunction with NDSU bugologists will be taking their fight to the gadfly population this summer, along with the other usual suspects: mosquitoes. The gadfly (pronounced: gad-fly),...
February 16th, 2017 | by
Johnnny Moorhead, MN – Trelga and Nevron Broomstad simply wanted to go eat out at one of Moorhead’s finer restaurants on Valentine’s Day and then perhaps head back home to snuggle and maybe watch some reruns of reruns...
December 13th, 2016 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – Unbeknownst to the residents of a Fargo apartment, a man was found living inside their upright piano. Needless to say, the residents are “kind of freaking out” about the whole situation, say police...