FMO’s golf pro will use the most advanced scientific methodologies to figure out why your golf game sucks so badly.
West Fargo, ND – Your FM Observer recently hired a golf professional to join our growing staff. Wade Lancer is his name and improving your golfing is his game.
Here are a few easy ways that Wade Lancer has put together to immediately shave strokes off your scorecard and also some great extra bonus tips to help impress your golfing buddies:
Pre-Game: Take a long hot shower in the morning and then major carb load on Mexican rice, beans, and enchiladas. A margarita or two certainly couldn’t hurt either if you’re feeling nervous. This warm-up routine should help illiminate your nasty snap-hook.
Clothing: Always wear a very bright and colorful outfit to play golf. Many rounds of golf are either won or lost while standing on the first tee-off box as your playing partners secretly size up their competition. Why do you think Ricky Fowler has been so darn successful?
Driving: To find your natural grip, simply hold your golf club like you’re grabbing a pool cue to swing at a bar-room attacker. After teeing up your ball as high as possible, remain in a steady, balanced ready-position long enough to summon up all that volcanic anger you felt during yesterday’s road rage incident when that loser cut in front of you and then flipped you off. As you swing to hit the ball, focus all that pent-up anger like a funneled laser beam onto the impact point of the ball. Don’t worry about your follow through because by that time, the ball is hopefully long gone in the right direction.
Fairway Shots: Using whichever club is your favorite, always aim straight for the flag on the green and then yell “fore!” after stroking your ball. It’s OK to tee your golf ball up on a perfect tuft of grass as long as you invoke “Winter Rules” beforehand.
Driving A Cart: Quite honestly, this is the best part of golfing. Sudden starts and stops are best. Always have drinks and snacks handy. Feel free to drive over your opponent’s golf ball especially if they’re not watching.
Chipping: This is easy. Simply use your chipper to launch the ball up onto the green much like you would just toss the ball with your hand. If a player from the group behind you ever hits their ball up into your general vicinity, do that person a huge favor and immediately hit their ball back at them and say “You’re welcome!”
Putting: Clear your mind of distractions like that unopened IRS audit envelope sitting on your desk. Trust your instincts to get the ball somewhat close to the hole. Anything within a club length of the hole is considered a gimme.
For more tricks and tips to help your golf game not suck so bad, simply ask anyone looking like they might be Wade Lancer if they have time to maby watch you hit a bucket of balls.