Tag Archives: duct tape

FMO Now Recording Everything On Cassette Tapes

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Cassette tapes are now constantly rolling at our FMO Corporate Office Park.

West Fargo, ND – On the advice of counsel (who part-times as a bouncer), the FM Observer has unanimously voted to begin tape recording all aspects of our entire corporate operation.

We believe that this will help us:

1. be more “in tune with the times”, and also
2. help document all forgotten ideas, names, directions, and warnings
3. which may come out of any of our numerous meetings, interviews, discussions, and arguments
4. which can literally transpire at any and all times of the day and/or night.

Plausible deniability would also be a nice (and much-needed) bonus for this award-winning website.

When you think of the FM Observer, think of us as your guidebook for the future, while also picturing our large storeroom full of cassette tapes stored in chronically color-coded shoe boxes.

Tree Toppled By Storm’s Strong Winds Damages Home Which Owner Fixes Using Only Duct Tape

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Once again, duct tape proves to be the only real thing you need to fix anything.

Fargo, ND – The home of Dr. Devito Petalcu was heavily damaged this past weekend when a hurricane-force gust knocked down a very large tree onto his family’s house.

Not wanting to wait for help to arrive, the Petalcu group quickly removed the monstrous tree and chopped it up into neatly stacked firewood for the winter.

Then, Devito resourcefully used many rolls of colorful duct tape to masterfully repair the damage so as to almost make their home better than new.

Expectedly, all of the letters in Devito Petalcu can be duct taped together to spell: I Love Duct Tape!

House-Warming Gift Ideas For The West Fargo And Fargo Area

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Hi! Welcome to the neighborhood!

West Fargo, ND – If a new couple has just moved into your neighborhood, within the first two weeks after they’ve arrived, you should definitely show up unannounced at their front door during normal visiting hours, with a few nice house-warming presents.

This will not only satisfy all your curiosities about what your new neighbors are like, but will also allow them to get a good first impression of you and some of your idiosyncrasies.

Showing up without any sort of present is very gauche! Because you are expecting your new neighbors to invite you in for snacks and coffee or beer, having some sort of gift is certainly mandatory.

Specifically for the Fargo and West Fargo area, here are some great ideas for good house-warming gifts:

☺ A Trump-scented candle to make America smell great again
☺ Any animal about to be euthanized at the Humane Society
☺ A list of all your phone numbers and email addresses
☺ A box of doggy treats for canine family members
☺ A partially redacted copy of the Mueller Report
☺ A variety pack of different colored duct tapes
☺ A framed autographed picture of yourself
☺ An extra-large (unopened) bottle of booze
☺ An old Bible from any second-hand store
☺ A living, breeding pair of Sugar Gliders
☺ A brand new submersible sump pump
☺ A few of your favorite hotdish recipes
☺ Season tickets to Bison football
☺ Any Michael Bolton CDs
☺ A few memory lanterns

Use Decorative Duct Tape To Help Your Partner Stop Snoring During The Holidays

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To stop snoring, duct tape works every time it’s tried.

Duck, NC – Are you looking for a smart solution to your partner’s snoring problem?

Have all your other feeble attempts to get a good night sleep failed?

Our very own Dr. Willy Nilly suggests using something that you probably already have in your home: Duct Tape!

Studies have shown that duct tape works 100% of the time for stopping snoring sleepers.

Directions: Simply cut a one foot section of heavy-duty duct tape and then carefully apply across the mouth area of your sleeping spousemate. During the holiday season, consider using decorative duct tape for a more festive mood.