Tag Archives: gofundme

At Zeitgeist Funeral Home, We Put The “Fun” In Funerals!

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We put the Fun in Funeral!

West Fargo, ND – Gone are the days when funerals were melancholy, mournful, and morose.

Zeitgeist Funeral Home believes funerals should be a fun celebration.

Dr. Agustine Elefritz created Zeitgeist Funeral Home to put some serious fun into serious funerals.

“At Zeitgeist, we don’t see why funerals can’t have some colorful balloons and streamers, along with happy upbeat music and fun games that make people feel good,” says Dr. Elefritz.

Zeitgeist Funeral Home offers many different Fun Packages from which to choose.

Dr. Elefritz tells people that “if you want a funeral that is dark and somber, go somewhere else. But if you want a kick-ass fun funeral that everyone will remember for weeks, then just give us folks at Zeitgeist Funeral Home a quick buzz from your cell.”

Somewhat expectedly, all of the letters in “Agustine Elefritz” can be funly re-arranged to spell: Zeitgeist Funeral!

Expensive Study Finds That Year 2100 Is Only About 82 Years Away

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Minnesota scientists have calculated that the Year 2100 will occur in about 82 years.

St. Paul, MN – A recently completed study for the state of Minnesota has made an astonishing discovery about the year 2100.

Minnesota scientists, working with NASA, have determined that the year 2100 in Earth Years is only about 82 years ahead of us in our communal future.

The Minnesota study was funded by a GoFundMe account which was created by Doctor Odem Fung who headed up this amazing study.

Dr. Fung in his own words: “Yes, we raised about $687 million via GoFundMe for this impotent study of which I am in charge.”

“We believe the results of the study will help Earthlings prepare for future concerns such as Global Cooling, the National Debt, Zika Virus, Male Gropers, and the Second Coming of Christ.”

Ironically, all the letters in Odem Fung can be re-arranged to spell: Go Fund Me!

Husband Of Peanut Farmer’s Wife Driving Her Nuts

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Part of why the peanut farmer’s wife went nuts was because of her husband’s lack of organization and focus along with some other stuff.

Nuttsville, Virginia – Murly Spanielson says her husband is to blame for her having gone completely nuts.

Ironically, Sparky Spanielson, a nut farmer by trade, has said he pleads not guilty to all charges except for maybe the “going nuts” part.

Murly has supposedly gone through all the different stages of going nuts and is currently at Stage #19 where she wants to bring charges to Sparky in the form of two large electrical wires hooked directly up to their 200 amp electrical service box.

Sparky, who literally grows nuts, more and more each year it seems, does admit he has a problem trying to stay focused which leads into his secondary problem of getting and staying somewhat organized.

Relationship counselor Beatrice Nicely says she has never seen anything like it: “Yeah, as a trained professional relationship counselor, I ain’t never seen anything like this, and that’s a for sure!”

If you would like to donate to Murly Spanielson’s gofundme account, simply decide if $100 seems right, or perhaps $250 is more what your gut is telling you on this one.

If you would like to support Sparky Spanielson, he will be giving a demonstration on nut farming in his garage which he is trying to clear out by next Friday. Sparky asks that you bring some random item for him to add to his collection of things to work on once he finishes this year’s nut crop.