Tag Archives: husband

Group Of Fargo Wives Puts Their Husbands Out On Boulevard For Clean-Up Week

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Ten Fargo women decided they’d all be better off by getting rid of their ten husbands.

North Fargo, ND – Clean-up crews were quite surprised to see what had been put out by the curb in one North Fargo neighborhood.

Apparently, ten wives had gotten together and decided to put their ten retired husbands out to get taken away during Clean-Up Week.

After asking one of the wives if this was a joke, she simply yelled: “Yeah, this here ain’t no joke, sonny! You take ’em now! Go on now, you take ’em!”

The ten elderly retired gentlemen were escorted one-by-one into the large Clean-Up Week truck and then slowly taken away to wherever all those many tons of curb-side junk get taken, and none of them were ever heard from again.

Moorhead Hoarder Finds Dead Husband Buried Under Tons Of Junk

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I thought maby my husband had left me until I found him buried underneath some piles of things I wanted to hold on to for awhile.

Moorhead, MN – The Department of Health and Human Services is reporting that a woman who wishes to remain anonymous recently found her deceased husband under some of her belongings.

Agnes Elhart of 1313 Hoarder Drive in Moorhead now wonders “why would Clarence have been crawling around underneath my newspaper collection?”

Agnes further ponders: “Maby he was trying to hide from me after that one argument we had about what items to perhaps purge?”

A hoarder specialist working the case sadly wrote: “It is more likely that some of the mountainous pile of endless crap fell on the poor guy and ol’ Clarence was buried alive, until he wasn’t.”

Husband Of Peanut Farmer’s Wife Driving Her Nuts

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Part of why the peanut farmer’s wife went nuts was because of her husband’s lack of organization and focus along with some other stuff.

Nuttsville, Virginia – Murly Spanielson says her husband is to blame for her having gone completely nuts.

Ironically, Sparky Spanielson, a nut farmer by trade, has said he pleads not guilty to all charges except for maybe the “going nuts” part.

Murly has supposedly gone through all the different stages of going nuts and is currently at Stage #19 where she wants to bring charges to Sparky in the form of two large electrical wires hooked directly up to their 200 amp electrical service box.

Sparky, who literally grows nuts, more and more each year it seems, does admit he has a problem trying to stay focused which leads into his secondary problem of getting and staying somewhat organized.

Relationship counselor Beatrice Nicely says she has never seen anything like it: “Yeah, as a trained professional relationship counselor, I ain’t never seen anything like this, and that’s a for sure!”

If you would like to donate to Murly Spanielson’s gofundme account, simply decide if $100 seems right, or perhaps $250 is more what your gut is telling you on this one.

If you would like to support Sparky Spanielson, he will be giving a demonstration on nut farming in his garage which he is trying to clear out by next Friday. Sparky asks that you bring some random item for him to add to his collection of things to work on once he finishes this year’s nut crop.

Husband Living In Doghouse Learns To Do Tricks For Treats

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Moorhead man banished to doghouse earns treats for learning some basic tricks.

Moorhead man banished to doghouse for being so negative earns treats for learning some basic tricks.

Moorhead, MN – After multiple misbehavings, Mr. Rolph Barker was banished to the doghouse by his wife.

Since then, and after being on a short leash for long enough, Rolph has started to show positive signs of improvement says Mrs. Barker.

“By using a strict system of threats and bribes, Rolphy seems to be learning what he can and cannot do. Also, he used to always be so negative, but we are quite positive that his behavior is starting to change for the better.”

An anonymous neighbor who’s been curiously observing the whole process, says that Connie Barker, a professional dog trainer, has been rewarding Rolph with treats such as beef shtix and beef jerky for learning to do tricks and odd-jobs on her honey-do list.

Every so often Connie will take her husband to play with some of the other husbands-in-training at the neighborhood dog park.

If you have a similar success story, please contact your local dog pound to share what’s been working for you.

Wife Divorcing Husband For Christmas Shopping At A Strip Mall

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Better think twice before shopping at a strip mall!

Fargo, ND – A Fargo woman is filing for divorce after finding out her husband was doing some “Christmas shopping” at a strip mall.

Maxine Garrison said she was driving by a local “strip mall” when she allegedly saw her husband walk into that strip mall. “I couldn’t believe my eyes. So I called my husband on his cell phone. When he said he was still at work, I knew something was up.”

Mr. Lewis T. Garrison later tried to explain in vain that he was just out doing some last minute Christmas shopping for his lovely wife and also wanted to pick out a nice card from the Hallmark store for his wife of 19 years. However, divorce papers have already been filed and the matter is now headed for the dreaded Divorce Court.

Maxine Garrison warns: “If husbands think it’s just OK to go spend time in some seedy strip mall, especially just before Christmas, then they damn well better be ready to lawyer up!”