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The Great Musk Ox Migration To Come Directly Through The Fargo Area

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Wear an anti-musk mask to avoid being overcome by the pungent odor from the beastly migrating oxen.

Fargo, ND – While North Dakota is still dealing with the Covid crisis, it will soon also have to contend with a Bovid crisis.

Thousands of musk ox from the Bovid family of large hoofed mammals will soon be doing their annual migration.

Because of climate change, this year’s route is going to bring an extremely large group of the strong musk-smelling animals through the Fargo area.

Authorities are recommending that the public wear masks when outside due to the powerful musky odor emitted by the males who are trying to attract females.

Because some of the animals weigh almost 900 pounds, people are also asked to quarantine during the times that the musk ox migration is moving through our region.

In summary, because of the Bovid migration, either shelter in place (in small groups) to stay safe, or if you must go out for beer, wear a mask to maximize your herd immunity to the strong musky smell and minimize your chances of being overcome by the intense Bovidian odor.

Todd Rundgren Opens Moorhead Concert With A Prayer For President Trump

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Trump-lover Todd Rundgren leads the audience in prayer for President Donald Trump prior to his concert.

Moorhead, MN – Many who attended the Yes/Todd Rundgren concert were pleasantly delighted when Mr. Rundgren opened the concert with a nice long Hawaiian prayer for President Donald Trump.

Unfortunately, they were not pleasantly surprised when YES did not show up due to some serious family problems.

Luckily, Todd Rundgren was then able to dedicate his entire headlining concert to invoking spiritual help for President Trump and his entire administration whom Mr. Rundgren greatly admires.

In fact, the Toddster announced that all of the proceeds from the concert will go to help fund President Trump’s re-election campaign and also to build the tall wall to keep Americans from escaping to Mexico in an effort to avoid paying back taxes.

After the concert concluded, Todd Rundgren got a personal phone call from President Trump who said: “I don’t want to work, I want to bang on the drum all day!”

fargo police

Todd Fox Arrested For Evading Police Officers

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fargo policeFargo, ND – Todd Fox who was just recently arrested for Flash-Frying Entire Cow, and before that, Arrested For Clearing Snow With Flamethrower, is in the news yet again.  This time for evading police officers.

Earlier this evening, Fargo police officer Eugene Stanley had Todd Fox pulled over for unpaid parking tickets.  Fifty-two to be exact as it’s apparent, Todd Fox does not care about parking tickets.

As Mr. Stanley was approaching the vehicle, he stated Todd Fox, “took off like Michael Schumacher in a Formula One Grand Prix.  I mean, he hit the pedal hard.”

Mr. Stanley got in his vehicle and pursued Fox all over downtown Fargo.  Speeds are said to have reached 35 miles an hour.

“He just kept driving like we were not even there.  Blatantly ignoring us pretty much.  He even waved at a few bicyclists.”

Todd Fox was able to evade police temporarily as you can see in the video below.  The pursuit was caught on a security camera which was positioned on the side of a building downtown.

Todd Fox police pursuit

Fox was finally arrested later in the day and stated he was simply, “on my way to pay my parking tickets.”

Fargo Man Arrested For Flash-Frying Entire Cow

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illegal?

Illegal.

Fargo, ND—Authorities were dispatched to a north Fargo neighborhood yesterday afternoon as one witness called to report what sounded like “A raging cauldron full of boiling guts” rumbling in his neighbor’s back yard.

Police arrived to find Todd Fox, a resident infamous for melting snow with a flamethrower, presiding over a 10,000-gallon propane-powered boiling vat of grease which contained a full, beer-battered Holstein cow.

“I seen it on TV, thought it’d be a good idea,” said Fox, who appeared to be referring to an Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode in which character Master Shake flash-fries a fully intact, battered cow in his residential neighborhood driveway. Fox was armed to the teeth with enough empty bottles of vegetable oil to kill a sperm whale, 10 propane-powered Nipco space heaters, a hydraulic hoist and a 10,000-gallon stainless steel tank he said he bought “real cheap at my uncle Burp’s flea market.”

Police would have none of it as they arrested Fox on charges of reckless endangerment and possession of livestock without a permit. When asked how he obtained the deceased animal, Fox declared “I know me a butcher.”