dike pulp

All of your returned ‘NO’ ballots will be put to good use

Fargo, ND—Local property owners: Did you recently find a flood risk ballot in your mailbox asking you to help fund the FM Diversion project? Did you open it, read it, then furiously scrawl an X in the ‘No’ box and send it in? Then we have great news! You’ve officially done your part in getting the diversion built.

County assessors, after being completely inundated with paper, are creatively re-purposing the thousands of ‘No’ ballots towards the pending diversion construction project.

“This massive amount of paper is going to be recycled into dike pulp. It….uh…..that was our plan all along, actually,” stated FM Diversion project lead Thousman Van Biplemblaven. “We, um….we figured this would happen, so….we’re just gonna build part of the dike out of those papers. Everyone already voted no. There’s a buttload of paper.”

Officials loaded all the “dike pulp” inside an unused Hector International Airport airplane hangar until construction begins in the year 2187.