Brought to you by the Appropriations Committee

Block 9 appropriations wasn’t the only thing on the Fargo City Commission’s agenda last night. Not only did they approve 15.5 million dollars to help fund Doug Burgum’s skyscraper, but with a 5-0 vote they appropriated an additional $1 million for sidewalk lemonade stands.  

After little Timmy finishes the mountain of application paperwork required, it will be reviewed by the Appropriations Committee. Some applicants will be denied because, well, the committee members aren’t idiots. They aren’t going to lend just anyone money for their projects.

Only 10,000 applicants will be approved leaving each young entrepreneur with 100 dollars of taxpayer startup funds. One anonymous city commissioner said: “This is a really nice thing we are doing for Fargo’s kids. In every urban neighborhood, folks will have the chance to get their choice of organic, non-GMO, GMO’d-up-the-ass or just plain old Kool-Aid quality lemonade.”

The commissioner then leaned in and whispered: “Also, the taxpayers might actually not lose money on this one.”