Tag Archives: brand

FM Observer To Sponsor Park Wood Cemetery Renovation

Humor in death

Strategic Brand Placement

Fargo, ND – The north wing of Park Wood Cemetery in Fargo has been in dire need of a facelift for quite some time. Tombs are moldy, crypts are dungy and the rats have colonized a functioning village. This has led the city to seek an overhaul of this historic burial site.

Today, via a no-so-generous grant made to the Graveyard Committee, we are proud to announce that many of this graveyard’s deceased will be eternally housed behind a new moniker!

strategic brand placement

Personalized tombstones! Choose from one of our many style types. We’ll come up with a catchy epitaph for your loved ones to chuckle at when they come to visit. “Yeah, that Gacky…life really did kill him to death, ha ha. It sure was nice of FM Observer to sponsor his burial. What a terrific satirical news agency they are, ya you betcha.”

Park Wood Cemetery (in association with the Death Task Force) has partnered with brand pioneers FM Observer® for a sponsored renovation agreement.

In exchange for our donation, Park Wood is allowing strategic brand placement in its north wing. After the renovation, you will see our brand and our slogan obscenely adorning gates and stone engravings because we, like many corporations, love to publish our brand in places where it really doesn’t need to be.

In accordance with this deal, FM Observer is allotted numerous personal Brand Actuality Agreements. You can have the FM Observer logo or slogan engraved onto your tombstone, crypt, headstone or mausoleum. And why stop there! We’d be glad to emboss your coffin with a glossy graphic or etch one of our catch phrases into your urn after cremation.

Email us at fmobserver@gmail.com for posthumous sponsorship arrangements.

FM Observer Secures Naming Rights To Hazeltine National Golf Course Outhouses

Waste where crap should be.

Chaska, MN—Brands®. You can’t escape them. Nowadays, it matters where your Brand™ is and how your Brand© looks. The more places your Brand° can exist, the better.

Almost every pro sport has caught on to this trend. Watch any ballgame these days and you’ll notice how brands have infiltrated almost every visual aspect. They’re on floors, jerseys, in the crowd, on the walls. Even the Green Monster at Fenway Park in Boston has fallen victim to them. Too bad. What is regarded as an iconic emblem of baseball’s storied history has been partially defaced by logos.

It’s go brand or go home these days, and we’ll be damned if we miss the boat on this one. That’s why our Agency Service Subcommittee of Homeland Advertising Techniques (ASSHAT) has been aggressively shopping our brand in places where no other satirical news agency would be foolish enough to advertise.

That said, we are proud to announce, in conjunction with the PGA Tour® and Port-A-Juan™, that our ASSHAT has successfully negotiated a very exclusive naming rights contract for this year’s 2016 Ryder Cup tournament! In a groundfracking 8-figure deal (move the decimal point a few spots to the left), FM Observer™ will have its logo plastered on every Port-A-Juan© outhouse on the Hazeltine front nine.

Patrons at Hazeltine the weekend of October 1st are going to reluctantly encounter the FMO brand prior to downloading. Our proud logo will adorn strategically-placed outhouses:

hazeltine

Relief at holes 1-9 brought to you by FM Observer®

In the competition of Brand® recognition, location is everything. We’re fixin’ to install our brand in the most awkward areas imaginable. We hope you get used to it.