Tag Archives: cro magnon

Foolhardy Fargo Men Try Operating A Powerful Magnetron Outside Its Protective Shielding

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These curious men forgot to protect their family jewels from a very powerful magnetron.

Fargo, ND – Some curious Fargo men broke one of the basic Cardinal Rules of Physics: Never mess with an unshielded magnetron especially while not protecting your private parts.

“Just because you can take a microwave apart does not mean it is advisable to do so,” says Dr. Grant Moen of the Institute For Higher Learning.

Among the many things you can encounter by dismantling a microwave oven are 1. testicular ionization from electro-magnetic radiation and 2. structural isomerism from powerful micro-wavelength waves causing irreversible personal cell deformation.

The three men in question are now resting comfortably in their hospital beds while frequently hitting the morphine button to mitigate the magnetronical pain they have been experiencing since their ill-advised experimentations.

Moral of the Story: Always have protective shielding on, when messing with a microwave’s magnetron.

Ironically, Grant Moen’s molecules can all be re-arranged to spell: Magnetron!

Recently Discovered Neanderthal Man Suing For Being Called Neanderthal

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Even tho me be Neanderthal, me no want be called Neanderthal, mmkay?

Cave, Illinois – A recently discovered Neanderthal man from the Cro-Magnon era is suing anyone who has been calling him a Neanderthal man.

In an effort to reduced the number of times he will be called a Neanderthal in the future, Neanderthal man’s attorney states that the lawsuit is against anyone who has called Neanderthal man a Neanderthal since his recent discovery in a cave.

The lawsuit is for $750 million in the form of a class-action lawsuit against any and all who have referred to Neanderthal man as such.

Neanderthal man was recently discovered down in his cave by some teenagers who say they were “not” going there to experiment with drugs.

Neanderthal man is currently employed in Chicago at the famous Museum Of Natural History as a guide in the Cro-Magnon era section.

Neanderthal man look for mate with whom to mate.

Subsequent to coming out of the cave, Neanderthal man came out of the closet and announced that he is a homo sapien who is looking for a mate to mate to make young Neanderthals just like him.

Neanderthal man likes to walk barefoot in the park, play with rocks, hang out in his man cave, and write hieroglyphics on the walls.

If you would like to meet or make contact with Neanderthal man, simply send him a message translated from your language into Neanderthal using Google’s translation site. Please mark your correspondence specifically to: Dear Neanderthal man!