In another edition of You Can’t Make This Stuff Up (But We Did Anyway), an area mom has listed her infant son, Bemmen, as a bidding item on popular online auction site Ebay.

“Kid was born in a hot air balloon, thought he’d be worth some money,” said societal wretch/mother Backy Stinkhook. “My lil’ Bem came into the world at about 5,000 feet high. Probly the first kid bein’ born way up there! Reserve at $1,000.”

The listing had already risen to 47 bids at press time. Barring any unforseen circumstances (such as Ebay ripping down the listing as it is both highly illegal and completely immoral), young Bemmen will find himself a new hot air balloon by the end of this week.