Tag Archives: highway patrol

Elderly Fargo Man Arrested For Driving 29 MPH On I-29

Travelling 29 mph down the interstate highway, with no worries, not a care in the... What are those flashing red lights?!

Travelling 29 mph down the interstate highway, with no worries, not a care in the… What are those flashing red lights?!

Fargo, ND State Highway Patrol pulled over an elderly Fargo driver who was travelling at a very low rate of speed on Interstate-29.

Mr. Cornwall Wilbertson had for some reason decided to take the interstate when driving from North Fargo to West Acres to do some early Christmas shopping.

A number of drivers who passed him on the highway noted that if Cornwall was going any slower, he’d be completely stopped in the middle of his south-bound lane.

Mr. Wilbertson was arrested and booked for being a public nuisance and driving almost half of the minimum speed on a major interstate highway.

When asked what he was thinking, Mr. Wilbertson said: “Well, I was thinking about old time Christmases, with the eggnog and the mistletoe, and then we watched The Wizard of Oz on our brand new color television. I remembered how we always played pinochle after our Christmas meal and before opening presents. Member how Uncle Charlie always brought us nuts and oranges from his greenhouse? Member grandma always trying to play piano so we could sing Deck The Halls? Member when we made that snow fort after that big blizzard? Member when Dad drank too much? Member when Steven left a candle burning and burned the house down?

Three Affiliated Tribes of Fort Berthold Reservation

The Three Affiliated Tribes of Fort Berthold Reservation Setting Up a Highway Patrol Unit.

New Town, ND – The Three Affiliated Tribes of Fort Berthold Reservation are setting up a highway patrol unit.  It has come to the FM Observers attention that 4 horses, 4 spears, and 4 tomahawks were ordered in.  The Three Affiliated Tribes were last seen making feathered head wear and vests made out of freshly killed buffalo.  Are they really just implementing a highway patrol or is this part of a larger conspiracy?