Tag Archives: justin bieber

Justin Beaver’s ‘Porpoise’ Concert Floating To Fargo

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Justin Beaver’s latest concert tour encouraging people to get a porpoise and have a porpoise in their lives.

Fargo, ND – Marine biologists are among the many who are excitedly anticipating Justin Beaver’s “Have a Porpoise” concert tour stop in Fargo.

Most people don’t know that both of Justin Beaver’s parents are marine biologists who have spent their lives studying and trying educate others about the porpoise and the importance of having one.

In fact, statistics show that people who “Have a Porpoise” in their lives live longer than those who donut.

One of Justin Beaver’s Fargo fans named Mucky Fuzzlewump yelled: “OMG! Justin Beaver’s coming to Fargo! Finally my life will “Have a Porpoise!”“

VIP-3 Package (which costs $40) includes: a signed picture of Justin Beaver’s porpoise, and a bag of Doritos half eaten by Justin Beaver.

VIP-2 Package (which costs $300) includes: a signed picture of Justin Beaver’s porpoise, a bag of Doritos half eaten by Justin Beaver, plus the gmail address of Justin Beaver’s agent, and an “I Hava Porpoise” wall mirror.

VIP-1 Package (which costs $2,000) includes: a signed picture of Justin Beaver’s porpoise, a bag of Doritos half eaten by Justin Beaver, the gmail address of Justin Beaver’s agent, an “I Hava Porpoise” wall mirror, plus five minutes in Justin Beaver’s back-stage baptismal hottub, an autographed Justin Beaver autobiography entitled “Looking Backwards”, and a chance to win a hot air balloon trip over the Himalayan Mountains with Justin Beaver and his pet shih tzu named Dinky.

Justin Beaver Pleads Drunk To All Charges

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Justin Beaver blames alcohol and an inner psychotic demon on all of his troubles.

Beaver Hills, CA – To the charges of driving his Lamborghini under the influence of alcohol, Justin Beaver pleaded Drunk to all of the charges.

While in court, the Beav explained to the judge in the case that it was not his fault for high-speed drag racing with the cops who were trying to arrest him. J.B. blamed alcohol for impairing his better judgment.

His team of attorneys is planning on filing a large lawsuit against the Jim Beam company for making their young and innocent client so damn drunk.

Once out of court, Mr. Beaver blamed the law enforcement officers on his troubles with the law. “If they would just stop following me around, trying to get an autograph for their wives, maybe I could have a little fun, and actually try to get something done around here, d’ya know what I’m saying?”, he ranted.

Justin’s psycho-therapist blames the troubles on a nasty internal demon for all of the acting out and the blaming of others.

Dr. Sheila Bunz believes that “a priest may be needed to exorcise this psycho-demon from the man-boy’s soul.”

To this, Justin Beaver snapped back: “Hey, I love to exercise! Just let me have a few drinks, before I start to get all pumped up, d’ya know what I’m saying? Yeah, like gimmy a frickin’ drink, or you’re frickin’ fired, bitch!”