Ready to penetrate?

Hollywood, CA—Legendary Hollywood film producer and deep-sea-pod diver James Cameron has waited. He’s sat idly by while these so-called “professionals” attempt to retrieve the remains of Malaysian Airlines flight 370 from the depths of the Indian Ocean. He has tried to be patient, but the tension has proven to be too great.  

“It pains me to witness amateurs stabbing their equipment through the heart of our planet’s salty waters, sifting blindly through The Abyss, rated PG-13,” said Cameron. “I’ve waited long enough. Now I must plunge my pod deep into the bowels of the Indian Ocean. I must spelunk the darkest depths. I will locate MH370.”

Cameron is of course referring to his Deepsea Challenger, a deep sea submersible in which he has reached oceanic depths of up to five miles. Whether Cameron is truly physically prepared to jam his pod into The Abyss at this time is unknown. All we do know is someone needs to find that plane, for Pete’s sake.