Moorhead’s new penalties for not recycling are the most draconian in the nation.

Moorhead, MN – Effective immediately, the City of Moorhead will now be enforcing stringent new penalties for any and all households that do not recycle.

Moorhead’s Recycling Czar Marv Hammerstone: “Some folks might not like how strict these new penalties are but we don’t like non-recyclers.”

For a 1st violation, the penalty will be: One week at a recycling work camp, one day on the e-Wall of Shame, a fine of $100, and one Hail Mary.

For a 2nd violation, the penalty will be: Two weeks at a recycling work camp, two days on the e-Wall of Shame, a fine of $200, and two Hail Marys. And so on and so forth.

How will the City of Moorhead know if someone is not recycling?

Czar Hammerstone says: “Oh, we will know! Don’t you worry about that, mmkay? We will use every sneaky possible way we can think of to determine if you’re a non-recycler and then impose swift and hard punishments accordingly.”