Driving Dog Gets First Canine Speeding Ticket

Auckland, New Zealand – Monty, the now famous car-driving schnauzer, has netted his first official moving violation since picking up a doggy driver’s license. Monty was popped going 35 in a 25 KM/hour zone just yesterday. The officer involved stated that Monty appeared to be “joyriding” at the time:

“I asked the dog how fast he thought he was going. He just sat there with his tongue dangling, drooling at me, like he didn’t care he was guilty. I then asked him where he was from. He said ‘woof’, like i’m supposed to know where that is?! Let’s just say he didn’t do a great job of talking himself out of a speeding ticket.”

This marks the first time in history that a dog was cited for speeding. The Observer is happy to report that animals are evolving at an exciting rate of speed. Next up on the agenda: teaching my Great Dane how to operate a snowblower!