Fargo Man Blissfully Unaware of Terrorist Group Known As ISIS

non-rockers

Fargo, ND—A local man is completely oblivious to the existence of the Islamist State of Iraq and Syria, more commonly known by news media consumers as “ISIS”.

“The progressive-metal band? They wrote a few good songs I guess,” said Junto Voltgasm, when asked what his thoughts were on ISIS. “I’m more of a groove metal fan, though.” He seemed totally unaware of the Islamist terrorist organization.

When we showed him the heavily-circulated videos of ISIS sawing off the heads of those they’ve captured, he became visibly ill. He was even more sickened upon learning that ISIS drives the same brand of Toyota pickup he does.

Voltgasm expressed no desire to further his awareness of Iraq’s roving band of psycho-jihadists. “I would have been fine not knowing anything about this non-rocking version of ISIS. Why doesn’t the government just handle them behind the scenes without telling us?? I don’t need to be scared out of my pants every time I watch the news.”