Doctor of Pharmacology

Shelburne, MA – Drug Companies are planning on giving funny man Bill Cosby a lifetime achievement award.

“Never has one person used so many drugs on so many others over such a long period of time,” says Rolf Hoffman-La Roche, spokesperson for the Drug Companies Conglomeration Corporation.

Rolf goes on: “Analyzing the veritable range of drugs purportedly used by funny man Bill Cosby over the years to tranquilize others is quite impressive and shows a mastery of pharmacalogical dispensation.”

Some of the drugs allegedly found in funny man Bill Cosby’s stockpile allegedly used to relax his clients allegedly included: Clonazepam (Benzodiazepine), Rohypnol (Flunitrazepam), Xanax (Alprazolam), Dormicum (Midazolam), Restoril (Temazepam), Liquid X (GHB, Gamma-Hydroxybutyrate), Special K (Ketamine), Ambien (Zolpidem), and Mickey Finn (Chloral Hydrate).

“It’s no wonder that cappuccino tasted a little funny,” said all of the women who are now stepping forward saying that funny man Bill Cosby salaciously drugged them.

When asked how he felt about getting the Drug Companies Lifetime Achievement Award, funny man Bill Cosby’s response was: “No, we don’t answer that. There is no response. There’s no comment about this. People shouldn’t have to answer to innuendos. We don’t talk about it.”