Tag Archives: dickish

Dickinson Team Name Changing From The Midgets To Just “The Dicks”

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For political correctness, the Dickinson Midgets may now be called The Dicks.

Dickinson, ND – The small town of Dickinson, North Dakota was once simply known for being the home town of the famous actress Angie Dickinson.

But now, the Dickinson School Board is in the cross-hairs of a new and extremely flagrant political correctness violation.

The Dickinson mascot and team name of The Midgets has been deemed to be objectionable, abusive, and unacceptable.

School Board president Dr. Sigmond Dickstein, who has suggested changing their name to simply “The Dicks”, asked to hear from some actual midgets to get their input on this matter.

Marty Smaltz of Midgets Of Our Nation (MOON): My organization believes the current Dickinson mascot is not only repugnant and displeasing, but also provocative, humiliating, and derogatory. If you don’t change it, I will change it for you!

Ms. Tina Little who represented L.O.W. (Little Organized Workers): Not only is your team name The Midgets insulting, to me it is very repulsive, disrespectful, reprehensible, offensive, and hurtful.

Gordy Shorts from the Midgets Of America Network (MOAN): Besides being indecent and demeaning because of its ties to historical circus freak shows, I consider your team name to be rude, distasteful, vulgar, crude, and quite frankly…embarrassing.

After a short break, Dr. Sigmond Dickstein (whose name can be re-arranged to spell Dickinson Midgets) said that the Dickinson School Board will need a little time to decide their final decision on this matter which is of no small importance to the tiny town of Dickinson, which is dwarfed by neighboring Bismarck.

Red River of Fargo Moorhead

Red River Now Considered “Less Dickish”

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Red River of Fargo MoorheadWest Fargo, ND – In a weird turn of events, locals have started praising the Red River and now consider it “Less Dickish.”  Last month we reported people to be calling the Red River a dick head and even tried killing it with bad words and physical violence.

A criminal over the weekend jumped into the red river in order to evade police after robbing a man.  The river, not wanting people to throw shit into it again, consumed the criminal and drowned the man hoping to gain the locals respect again.  Since the river has been a baby it has been removing criminals and stupid people from the gene pool for decades.  It has never asked a favor or asked for respect from the people.  However, after the residents of Fargo-Moorhead found out the Red River was apprehending criminals for them, they now consider it “Less Dickish” and respect the magestic river once again.

“I knew that by kicking the river with my deadly karate kicks that it would teach it a lesson to be nice” a local who was seen last month trying to kill the river said.

With the Red River on the locals good side again, they can get back to living with each other peacfully.  So cute.