Trust in E Corp®

New York, NY – In a coded briefing released at 12:34:56 PM yesterday, Terry Colby, the Chief Technology Officer of banking conglomerate E Corp, warned of another potential hack aimed at their users’ personal data.

This briefing, deciphered from a standard base-10 algorithm downloaded from a .docm macro, reads “A femtocell DDoS containing malware infiltrated a back-door zero-day vulnerability via our static IP resulting in a rootkit packet-sniffing botnet. This won’t reoccur but could be perpetrated again by fsociety members as a 2nd-phase 5/9 attack. -TC”

The Observer cannot confirm nor disconfirm the suspicion that Terry Colby or any top-level E Corp representative actually did release this coded briefing, but we can confirm that it was found in an encrypted email from E Corp to fmobserver@gmail.com at 12:34:56 yesterday with instructions to release it at 12:34:56 today. 

This comes after the public was made aware of a Yahoo user account breach that finally made national headlines two whole years after it occurred.