Tag Archives: heavy

Fargo Man Crushed To Death While Trying To Carry 99-Pack Of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer

Warning: Do not try to lift the 99-Pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer by yourself!

Fargo, ND – In an unfortunate incident involving the purchase of beer, an elderly Fargo man met his demise when he tried walking off with more than he could carry.

Mr. Cantine Pinkney, upon seeing the giant cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon in his favorite liquor store, decided to buy the 99-pack of beer for $99.

Pabst Blue Ribbon strongly suggests that their 99-packs of beer be carried by at least two strong people because they weigh in at around 99 pounds.

While attempting to walk out of the store carrying his large 99-pound 99-pack of PBR, Mr. Cantine Pinkney quickly succumbed to the massive weight, and suddenly collapsed into the glass exit door with the entire 99-pack landing directly on top of him causing immediate lights-out for old man Pinkney.

Crushingly, all of the letters in Cantine Pinkney can unfortunately be re-arranged to spell: Ninety-Nine Pack!

Fargo Man Gains Sixty Pounds In One Sitting At All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

Fargo man gains 60 lbs in 3 hours.

Fargo, ND – Richard Roundhouse of rural Fargo entered the House Of Food buffet restaurant weighing 310 pounds.

When Mr. Roundhouse finally decided to leave the House Of Food three hours later, the scale indicated that Richard now weighed in at 370 pounds.

Fargo’s new House Of Food restaurant charges by the pound, and therefore invites each customer to weigh in upon arrival, and then again at checkout.

The bad news is Richard’s bill came to $240 but the good news is that Mr. Roundhouse set a new House Of Food record.