Tag Archives: landing

Heroic Pilot Somehow Safely Lands Problematic Plane At The Moorhead International Airport

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After some reported engine trouble, this plane was safely guided to safety by a seasoned skilled pilot.

Moorhead, MN – The day started out just like a normal one for pilot Damario Prothero.

His planned itinerary: Fly straight from Dallas to Toronto and back again, hopefully home in time for supper with his lovely wife, Jacinta.

Unbeknownst to Damario, mechanical trouble of the highest order would suddenly pop up on his instrumentation panel just south of Moorhead, Minnesota.

With only nano-seconds to react, Captain Prothero’s natural instinct for survival took over and he somehow miraculously landed the plane safely with only a few scrapes and bruises to show for it.

Ironically, all of the letters in Damario Prothero can be re-arranged to spell: Moorhead Airport!

Area Homeless Angry Over Mars Rover Landing

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little bud

little buddy

Fargo, ND – What a world we live in! The nerds over at NASA and people across the globe watched as the last 10 years of astrophysics engineering came to fruition early this morning with the landing of the Mars rover, “Curiosity”. The last 10 or so years was a marathon of software computations, physics formulas and jet propulsion engineering which resulted in the placement of Curiosity smack dab in the middle of the Mars landscape.

This has the homeless community outraged. The needy are wondering why the hell the Salvation Army building downtown cannot afford central air conditioning but meanwhile, millions of dollars of federal grant money is being fed to a program dedicated to a planet millions of miles away from where our real problems exist: Earth. Moorhead-area hobo Trevor Sands had this to say during a protest outside of the Moorhead planetarium:

“I’m sleepin’ outside under a heap of shit-covered blankets in the winter because I can’t get health insurance to buy pills that keep the goddamn demons out of me. How much you think puttin’ some damn 4-wheeler on the surface of Mars cost? Probably a lot more than a year’s supply of demon pills, brother. Change? Spare change??”

Sands then showed me the devil carving on his forearm he made using a plastic butter knife that he claimed the “Mars buggy demons” are responsible for. The Observer wishes the homeless best of luck getting demon pill grant money during these trying times.