Tag Archives: low-tech

FMO Hiring Senior Retro-Tech Position To Service All Our Older Equipment

Knowledge of older equipment is a plus.

Eastern West Fargo, in Southeastern North Dakota – The FM Observer is proud to announce that we are interested in hiring a Senior Retro-Tech to our staff of Information Technologists.

Candidates must be willing to work in a slow-paced environment and be able to handle extreme pressure well.

Must be willing and able to work days and nights and also weekends and holidays for little or no compensation.

You should be able to take things apart and then put them back together.

Successful applicants would be expected to respectfully stand at attention with hand on heart during the national anthem and our daily pledge of allegiance.

Willingness to participant in office sports betting pools and bring in cookies would be a big plus.

Knowledge of all older types of retro-equipment which has a lot of knobs and buttons would be helpful since that it pretty much your main responsibility.

Candidate should be able to zoom in and zoom out when needed.

Language skills preferably would include English and Spanish as a first or second language, profanity, and also a basic understanding of office notes written in Tamil.

Must be willing to relocate if we ever decide to move or take the entire company on an “extended vacation” due to Global Cooling or problems with local law enforcement.

We are looking for a team player who is willing to be proactive and approachable.

You should be able to set positive goals that are achievable.

Having good time management skills is welcome as is being able to quickly respond to an emergency situation of any kind.

We are looking for someone who can prioritize many tasks as to their urgency and importance, re-think existing processes, educate yourself on the latest retro-technology, and ask questions when the answers may not be right in front of you.

If you feel your particular skill set is what the FM Observer is looking for, print multiple copies of your one-page resume in Tamil (using Google Translate if needed), and put one copy in each of our In-Box folders on our desks when we’re out to lunch (which is pretty much the whole day).

Amish Taking Applications For New ND Settlement

Drive your very own Amish Cruiser.

Drive your very own Amish Cruiser.

Amishville, ND –  Have you been wishing for a simpler life? Looking to do some low-tech manual labor in a no-nonsense friendly rural setting?

The Amish Organization is opening a new settlement in North Dakota soon and is looking for some faithful new members to help grow the group.

Applicants simply need to send a humble picture of themselves along with a hand-written letter describing who they are, without ever using the words “I” and “me”.

Send your application information to Senior Elder Jakob Ammann who is most likely doing chores out at the new Amishville, North Dakota location.

New members who are invited to join are all group-baptized. They will then begin assigned humble chores, attend regular classes to learn Pennsylvania Dutch, and meet with Elders weekly to study Thee Ordnung (Amish Rules Of Order).

When ready to become full-fledged official members, there is the Feast Of The Elders.

This is a big celebration where all new members receive their Amish Membership Cards and learn the Secret Handshakes.

Then, Chief Elders declare Rumspringa, which is basically the one time everyone gets extremely drunk on potent Amish Rum. New members are encouraged to find a mate and engage in Rumspringa during this festive time.

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All new members receive a free cabin.

The following morning, new barns and cabins are quickly built and furniture making kicks into high gear by young and old alike.

Warning to new member-applicants: Any violations of the Amish Ordnung can potentially result in either (1.) being shunned by the community, or (2.) formal ex-communication from the entire settlement.

The most common reason for members being ex-communicated is unauthorized Rumspringa. If you’re lucky, you will only be shunned for a month.