A Fargo woman called Y-94 the other day and said she was going to hand out letters to “moderately obese” children in lieu of edible goodies because no, that’s not tasteless or shameful at all. In response to that brazen announcement, the Observer would like to fire back. Follow along with her pictured letter, if you will…

Happy Halloween and Happy Holidays, Neighbor!

You are probably wondering why you’ve been given this note. Have you ever heard the saying “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all?” I am disappointed in this negative, demeaning thing you are planning to do.

Your ideals are, in my opinion, overly critical and unnecessary and should not be projected to any child you happen to recognize as “moderately obese”. This type of action is as bad as calling a kid “fat”. You’re nothing more than a bully.

My hope is that you will stand down as a respectable neighbor and keep this shameful letter taped to your bathroom mirror as a constant reminder of how utterly perfect and without flaws you are.

Thank You

Let that serve as a retort until this letter and everything leading up to it is revealed to be a huge prank.