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Joaquin Phoenix’s “Cries Of Anguish” Wins The Oscar For Best Picture

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The next time you pour milk on your cereal, think of the calf who should have gotten that milk.

Hollywood, CA – As expected, Joaquin Phoenix’s movie Cries Of Anguish won the Academy Award for Best Picture.

Cries Of Anguish is a wonderful movie about cows being artificially inseminated.

Then, the cow babies are stolen from their mommy cows for the veal industry, which prompts unmistakable Cries Of Anguish.

All of the stolen milk, which should have gone to the baby cows, is taken from the mommies, only to be put into our cups of coffee and onto cereal in your cereal bowl.

Joaquin Phoenix, in his powerfully delivered acceptance speech, showed that he is no joker when it comes to pointing out the wrongful entitlement that humans feel in order to inflict such violent acts against our bovine friends.

Oscar The Grouch

Oscar The Grouch Admits He Is Made Of Marijuana

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Oscar The GrouchOscar The Grouch, a muppet character from the ever so popular kids show Sesame Street, has finally come clean about himself.

Today on Good Morning America, Oscar has revealed to the world that he is actually made out of Marijuana.

“I feel it was time to finally come clean about myself.  I am indeed, one big nug of weed.”

Parents Television Council have been in a huff since this revelation as Sesame Street is a childrens television show.

Concerned parents are afraid Oscar The Grouch will endanger their children, turn them into murderers, and become a gateway to more hardcore drugs.  However, after speaking with some current and former children on the show, they stated that they have been smoking Oscar The Grouch for quite sometime now which explains why they always seem so happy on the show.

oscar the grouch smoking weed

Oscar states that he does not put pressure on any children to smoke him but does admit it helps him, as well as the children, deal with the fact that there is a big yellow talking bird on the show.  It also calms his nerves due to the stress of living in a garbage can all his life.