Fargo, ND – This afternoon in downtown Fargo, two fearless PETA ladies dressed up as mermaids in the name of fish preservation. The Observer is glad to know that the dead geographical center of the North American continent is getting a stern warning against the consumption of seafood. Do the PETA babes not realize how far away we are from the sea? We couldn’t be any farther from the goddamn ocean, yet there they sat on the corner of 2nd and Broadway defending seafood.
Wait…don’t I sound like an idiot, bitching about topless women? Forget I said anything. It is highly likely i’m just bitter that neither of the women would let me hold their sign NOR would they autograph my favorite lobster bib.