Fargo, ND – A smelly-looking friend of the Observer is in need of some help. Pete Wrigley, Jr. (remember him from this article) came to the Observer with some rather troubling news–his float boat rust bucket was just robbed! A frantic Wrigley showed up at the doorstep of the FM Observer headquarters (The Empire bar) looking haggard. His brow wet with sweat. He yanked me off my barstool and exclaimed “Some random crackhead stole one of my kneeboards from m’boat!!” I couldn’t believe it.

The mood went from suspicious to somber in an instant. We both stormed outside and into the parking lot only to find Pete’s rustmobile sans one of his kneeboards. I knew right then that I had to enlist the help of our loyal readers. Please, study the picture above to get a good mental picture of Pete, his greasy hairdo, his creaky old vessel, and most importantly, his kneeboard. IF YOU SEE A RANDOM CRACKHEAD CARRYING AROUND A SIMILAR-LOOKING KNEEBOARD, NOTIFY THE OBSERVER IMMEDIATELY.