Tag Archives: pumpkin

Moorhead Family Found Living In A Pumpkin

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It’s actually quite comfortable living in here but we’re planning on adding an additional pumpkin for some more living space.

Moorhead, MN – It was recently discovered by the Moorhead Housing Authority that at least one Moorhead family has been living in a large pumpkin for months.

Margaret Butts, chairman of the MHA, stated: “T’was a real shocker when we learned that a whole family was headquartering out of a large pumpkin. They can’t be considered homeless because they do have a home.”

Some of the initial questions swirling around this story have been:

Why would a family be living in a pumpkin in Moorhead?

Can we expect more people to be found living in pumpkins the closer we get to Halloween?

Should pumpkin dwellers be taxed just as normal homes are?

Is this just more real fake news from the FMObserver or is it an authentic story like the Moorhead haunted house story?

All of these questions will be addressed at the next Moorhead city commission meeting. In the meantime, you are asked to go out and search for any other pumpkin dwellers who may be living in the area. Please report any findings by calling the main city phone line at 218.299.5166 and you will be routed to the Pumpkin Department.

West Fargo Police Pumpkin Humper Arrested

Man Caught Having ‘Sexy Time’ With Area Pumpkins

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West Fargo, ND – Pumpkins missing from your front door step?  West Fargo Police finally have an answer for you.

Early this morning, a West Fargo man was arrested for having sexy time with pumpkins all over the West Fargo area.  One neighbor was walking to shut the front light off when he spotted a man in dark clothing erratically humping away at his defenseless smurf carved pumpkin.  Once spotted, the man ran away taking the pumpkin with him.

Another incident 2 hours later, Ted was walking out to his car to lock it when he caught the pumpkin humper with his pants down and a small pumpkin hanging from his genitals.  Again, the man ran away, pumpkin and all.

The last witnessed incident was the pumpkin humpers embarrassing downfall which did him in.  Becky was watching a movie late last night when she heard some rustling on her front door step.  She went down to investigate and opened her front door.  There lay the pumpkin humper sprawled out on her front door step, completely passed out, pants down, pumpkin seeds everwhere.  Scattered around him were five of Becky’s pumpkins, broken and bruised.  Who knows the torture they had to endure.

Police say the pumpkin humper is in their custody and it is once again safe for everyone to put their pumpkins out on their front door step, just in time for Halloween.