Tag Archives: scared straight

Uncle Screwball Warning Trick-Or-Treaters To Avoid Scary Clowns Like Him

Hi Kids! If you see a bad clown like me on Halloween, run in the opposite direction.

Moorhead, MN As a public service in the name of survival safety, the infamous clown named Uncle Screwball (who is best known for freaking kids out) wants to warn parents and children to stay away from any scary-looking clowns around Halloween time.

Uncle Screwball not only wants to warn trick-or-treaters to avoid himself, but also some of his scary clown friends who also fall into the category of dark, bad, and twisted.

It would be best to avoid: Doctor Loopy, Ga-Gonzo, Mr. Wacko, Nutso Job, Loony Brain, Big Bonkers, and Krazy Kook,” according the the admonishing Uncle Screwball.

The god-father of all psycho-clowns goes on to tell kids: “Bad clowns can be anywhere, so always stay watchful. They may be sitting motionless on a porch holding a bucket of candy, or hiding behind a large bush, or even quietly walking right behind you. Bad clowns have a lot of good tricks!”

Fargo Inmate To Represent North Dakota In National Scared Straight Competition

Inmate Postulates Proposed Pisspants Pennant

scared

#04627 dispensing the fear

Fargo, ND—Cass County Jail inmate #04627 has been chosen to represent North Dakota in this year’s Scared Straight International Competition being held at Idaho State Penitentiary this coming May.

Scared Straight International™ will be staging its yearly tournament Saturday, May 24th in which a chosen convict from each of the 50 states competes to scare the pp out of a very unlucky flock of hand-picked juvenile offenders.

The inmate who causes the most pisspants, wins. Texas State Prison repeat offender #55096-874 is last year’s reigning champion and will prove a worthy adversary to #04627 who was selected from a long list of area intimidators to attend this year’s tournament. He couldn’t be more enraged.

Presenter Zay atTexas Prison Museum 200x250

Returning champion #55096-874

“To represent my state in a national screaming competition such as this has been a furious dream of mine,” 04627 said, angrily. “Scaring the sweat out of waterbelly teens has been my life’s passion ever since sentencing. Facing down pisspants juveniles on behalf of my state in a national scaring competition is literally the top of the mountain for me. This is a big moment.”

Experts are saying that if #04627 can exert a consistent 3-out-of-5 pisspants ratio, he has a shot at taking home the Scared Straight Tournament crown.

Good luck, #04627!