West Fargo, ND—A West Fargo Middle School junior has voiced his displeasure over the alleged unfavorable physical characteristics of today’s substitute algebra teacher, Mrs. Jonisbarnmeister.

Substitute teacher Qonchy Jonisbarnmeister, at best a 3 out of 10, caught the ire of Nodd Winnials, 17, during this morning’s roll call. Winnials could be heard scoffing and making obvious fart noises as Mrs. Jonisbarnmeister recited names and when Jonisbarnmeister called out his name for roll, Winnials hastily interrupted her with a loud belching sound.

Eyewitness reports also confirm that Winnials then began slandering the substitute teacher under his breath, using carefully-crafted one-liners such as:

“Is that where the NDSU Bison got their logo?”

“Jonisbarnmeister? More like UGLYbarnMISTER.”

“Hey, who let ManBearPig out of its cage?”

“I have now decided my purpose in this life. I hereby declare that my singular reason for existence, now and forever, is to systematically eradicate undesirable humans from the face of this planet. I swear to the Gods I shall uphold this declaration or absolutely and without complaint, die trying.”

First period algebra ended without incident.