Tag Archives: witchcraft

Fargo Witch Heading To Trial

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Fargo witchcraft trial headed to court.

Fargo, ND – Deirdre Cummings has been charged in Fargo District Court with three counts of witchcraft, bewitching, and witchery.

Ms. Cummings will soon be on trial for multiple counts of practicing her practice within Fargo city limits which is a fourth class felony under the state’s mandated uniformed citizenry code of ethics.

Her attorney asked Deirdre if she would like a change of venue, to which she replied: “Sure, I can change the venue! I’d be more than happy to change the venue!” which was quietly followed by an echoing evil laughter.

Moments later all the lights in the courtroom immediately changed from being light bulbs to burning candles held by cobwebbed bat-shaped gargoyled sconces.

Deirdre’s pet crow whom she formally addresses as Sheryl is believed to be Head Crow of the Fargo crow flock which is more commonly called “a murder”.

T’is believed that Deirdre Cummings and her pet crow Sheryl have power over all the crows in Fargo so beware anytime you see a crow and please report it to the Fargo Crow Patrol 25/8.

Potential jurors are being asked whether or not they believe in witchcraft. Any non-believers soon find themselves stuck up against the courtroom ceiling, not dissimilar to that unsettling scene in Nightmare on Elm Street.

Fargo Psychic Wins Lottery For Ninth Time

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Fargo’s Miss Devine can win the lottery any time she desires.

Fargo, ND – Unbeknownst to most hoi polloi, living amongst Fargo’s commonfolk resides One with a “most powerful” gift.

Fargo’s Miss Divine can foretell the future “well enough” to have just won a record nine lottery jackpots.

So as to remain “under the radar”, Miss Divine usually plays the “lesser games” such as: Hot Lotto, 2 by 2, and Lucky For Life.

Last week Miss Divine informed us that she recently won the 2 by 2 game, which is now her ninth lottery win. When we asked Miss Divine “the how and why”, her response in her own words was: “Miss Divine sees things in her crystal ball that allow her to live very comfortably while being able to hand out $100 bills to those in obvious need.”

If you would ever like to discuss “possibilities” for your future finances with Miss Divine, look for her in the Downtown Fargo area. Whilst you seek her out in the alleys and galleys, you will not find her so much as “she will find you”. Remember to tell Miss Divine that you “read about” her on the FM Observer (and use promo-code “MD2-J9” for a 10% “bonus coupon”).