DECEMBER 2012 EVENT CALENDAR: What’s happening in December

Fargo, ND – Here is a list of F-M Observer sponsored events and happenings taking place in the area this December.

Saturday, December 8th:

MOVEMBER MUSTACHE CONTEST: DON’T SHAVE YET! SHOW OFF YOUR CHARITY-INSPIRED GRILL COVER AT OUR 1ST ANNUAL “MOVEMBER MUSTACHE GROWING CONTEST”. ‘STACHE JUDGES WILL BE ON HAND TO RULE ON WINNERS. AWARDS WILL BE HANDED OUT FOR THE FOLLOWING CATEGORIES: STRENGTH, LENGTH, FLAVOR SAVER, CURL FACTOR. FREE HAT.

Wednesday, December 12th:

WINTERIZE YOUR SOUL: BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!! INSULATE AND APPRECIATE. LOCALLY-RENOWNED SPEAKER WILLIAM HUDSON WILL OUTLINE HIS 3-POINT PLAN ON HOW BEST TO PREPARE FOR THE WINTER SEASON. LEARN HOW TO SHUN YOUR NEEDS AND PROCRASTINATE BETTER WHILE KEEPING LOVED ONES AT A SAFE DISTANCE. 7:30 @ RAMADA CRYSTAL BALLROOM. $75 IN ADVANCE, $90 THE DAY OF THE SHOW. FREE HAT. SPONSORED BY THE F-M OBSERVER.

Friday, December 14th

SNOWGA: YOGASM IN THE NUDE. BECOME ONE WITH NATURE, MIND, AND BODY. BUILD SELF CONFIDENCE AND STRETCH THAT SPHINCTER. COME JOIN US AS BILL BURNS GIVES YOGA LESSONS IN THE SNOW. FREE MOUNTAIN DEW.

Saturday, December 15th:

WINTER DRIVING COURSE: TOO STUPID TO REMEMBER HOW TO DRIVE IN THE SNOW AFTER ONLY 8 MONTHS? JOIN OUR ANNUAL WINTER DRIVING COURSE SO YOU CAN RE-LEARN HOW TO SLOW DOWN WHEN THAT WHITE STUFF FALLS FROM THE SKY (WHITE STUFF IS SNOW AND WINTER IS A DREADFUL SEASON WHEN SNOW FALLS). FREE FOR EVERYONE. LOCATED IN ALL HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOTS. FREE “MY KID IS NOT AN HONOR STUDENT” BUMPER STICKERS FOR ALL WHO ATTEND.

Monday, December 31st:

NEW YEAR’S EVE BASH: PARTY!! GIVEN THE FACT THAT THE MAYAN CALENDAR DID NOT ACTUALLY SPELL OUT OUR DOOM, THERE WILL BE MUCH REJOICING AS WE SAY BYE-BYE TO 2012. NUDE PARKOUR AND IF I CAN GET THE PERMITS, SEX OLYMPICS. RSVP VIA TWITTER @FMObserver. BYOB. BYOLube. FREE HAT.

CANNIBALS ANONYMOUS sessions are held, as always, every Tuesday and Thursday of the month. Details available HERE.

Thanks, and we hope to see you soon!