City Waives Alcohol Compliance Fine Because Servers Weren’t Taught How to Use Calculators

Fargo, ND—After serving booze to a minor, Santa Lucia restaurant in south Fargo was hit with a fine as punishment for failing their random alcohol compliance check. The restaurant’s owner disputed the fine, saying that both servers who examined the ID of the patron were never taught how to use calculators during county-mandated server training class. Because if you can’t use a calculator, you can’t properly determine someone’s age.

The city of Fargo agrees. Today, city commission members voted to repeal the fine due to negligence on the part of server training staff.

“Failure to show these college-educated humans how to utilize an electronic device to make routine subtractions resulted in their inability to perform simple arithmetic in a real-life situation,” commission member Jonathan Noisewater stated. “It is obviously the responsibility of a simple government-mandated training seminar to properly educate service staff how to complete grade-school-level mathematical computations.”

Santa Lucia is set to resume incorrect mathematics as early as this week.