Fargo Landfill To Be Permanently Closed

May 9th, 2014 | by Johnnny
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Local trash heap becomes treasure trove of valuable ancient artifacts.

Fargo, ND – The Fargo Landfill is being shut down – closed for the foreseeable future. It is now officially going to be considered a historical site due to some recent important findings.

An undocumented landfill worker inadvertently discovered some unusual looking arrowheads while working the dump. These arrowheads have turned out to be quite significant, to say the least.

Renowned British archaeologists Dale and Connie Rosenkrantz say these arrowheads are now the oldest ones ever discovered on this planet.

“These arrowheads are older than the ancient bone arrowheads found in the Sibudu Cave down in South Africa!”, Dale Rosenkrantz excitedly explained to us, while taking a nip of whiskey to calm his nerves. “The Sibudu relics were carbon-dated to be about 77,000 years old. These newly discovered ones in the Fargo Landfill are even older than that!”

All this good news for archaeologists is bad news for Fargo City officials who must now try to quickly come up with a new location for all future garbage dumping.

Possible alternative locations will be discussed at the next City Commission meetings. “All options are on the table”, confided an anonymous high-ranking city official. “North of North Fargo, South of South Fargo, the Osgood area, these are all being looked at as viable options. We might even have to haul our garbage over to Moorhead, since they have a lot of unused space.”

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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)