Tag Archives: adrian peterson

Wounded Knee Could Leave Adrian Peterson A Paralegal For The Rest Of His Life

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Adrian Peterson being assisted off the field since new home field forgot to buy a golf cart.

Adrian Peterson being assisted off the field since new home field stadium forgot to buy a golf cart.

Minneapolis, MN – After only seven quarters of football, Adrian Peterson’s 2016 season appears to be in serious jeopardy.

While Colin Kaepernick has been taking a knee during the National Anthem, Adrian Peterson is losing a knee, following in the footsteps of teammate Theodore Bridgewater, Jr.

After an underwhelming 12 carries for 19 yards against the visiting Packers, losing Adrian Peterson would be an overwhelming loss for the Vikings.

On a negative note, the game against the Green Bay Packers could leave Adrian Peterson as a paralegal with the Vikings for the rest of his life.

On a positive note, former Vikings defensive tackle Alan Page successfully embarked on a legal career after leaving the Vikings. Page went on to serve as an associate justice of the Minnesota Supreme Court from 1993 until retiring in 2015.

Even though the Vikings ultimately won their first game in their new stadium, with the loss of Adrian Peterson it seems to be a Pyrrhic victory.

BREAKING: Vikings Trade Away Six Draft Picks To Keep Adrian Peterson

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Minneapolis, MN—I believe the old saying goes, “In with the new, in with the old.” That’s the mantra around Minnesota Vikings football team headquarters these days as newly-acquired head coach Mike Zimmer is employing some old tricks that long-time fans of the Purple have seen before.

As reported by Matt Drangle of the Minneapolis Sun-Times, the Vikings have traded away their 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th-round 2014 draft picks for the rights to keep star running back Adrian Peterson. This leaves them with only 6th and 7th-round picks.

“When you’re carrying a loaded magnum with six bullets, what are you gonna do? NOT fire the gun?” quoted coach Zimmer. “We spoke to the league. They agreed that there’s nothing in the NFL Book of Bylaws that says you can’t have an NFL draft fire sale every 20 years or so. This will keep our offense on the right track and save us a ton of cap space by not having to ink a fleet of unproven rookies.”

Coach went on to explain that draft picks are just numbers, they’re not even players and that trading away numbers for an actual player was good strategy. Coach’s strategy is particularly baffling as the player in question is currently under contract. At press time it is not certain where the traded-away draft picks will end up, but it sounds likely that they will be donated to a local non-profit organization.

Not since 1989 have the Purple traded away a heavy handful of draft picks for a mega-talent. It appears coach Zimmer abides by another old saying: “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

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