Tag Archives: annual

Man’s Death Blamed On Panic Attack Caused By Extreme Frustration During Jigsaw Puzzle Tournament

It may take weeks to put together the pieces of this puzzling death.

Fargo, ND – What began as a potentially fun afternoon gradually swirled into a personal implosion for one jigsaw puzzle tournament participant.

Mr. Lemm TweedClopton entered the annual jigsaw puzzle tournament with high hopes of possibly finishing in the Top Five people to successfully complete a very challenging jigsaw puzzle in one very intense race against time.

Mr. TweedClopton had not done very well in past tournaments but regular practice sessions seemed to have indicated some improvement.

Shortly after the tournament’s starting bell, Lemm began experiencing a major panic attack caused by extreme frustration from not being able to get any of the puzzle pieces to fit together.

When the ambulance showed up minutes later, Mr. Lemm TweedClopton was pronounced dead, but the actual cause of death remains puzzling.

Unfortunately for him, all of the letters in Lemm TweedClopton can be re-pieced together to spell: Complete Meltdown!

For A Change, The Concordia College Christmas Concert Will Feature All Beatles Music This Year

An all-Beatles Concordia College Christmas concert will be a refreshing change.

Moorhead, MN – In what’s considered to be a slight deviation from the norm, Concordia College will feature all Beatles music during this year’s annual Christmas Concert.

“Because the night that Jesus was born was so very special, we too decided to do something very special, namely, use all Beatles music for this year’s Concordia College Christmas Concert,” said Mr. Cardoso McChristian who ostensibly has nothing to do with the concert.

Yes, many old-timers who hate change will probably be somewhat surprised to hear that all of the traditional songs normally sung during the Concordia College Christmas Concert will be completely replaced by Beatles tunes, including:

⦿ Birthday
⦿ Lady Madonna
⦿ The Fool On The Hill
⦿ Norwegian Wood
⦿ Mother Nature’s Son
⦿ Let It Be
⦿ Across The Universe
⦿ Come Together
⦿ Because
⦿ We Can Work It Out
⦿ Got To Get You Into My Life
⦿ Hello Goodbye
⦿ Rocky Raccoon
⦿ With A Little Help From My Friends
⦿ Yesterday
⦿ The End

Incidentally, all the letters in Cardoso McChristian can be re-arranged into: Concordia Christmas!