Tag Archives: driving range

New Tiger Woods Invitational Golf Tournament Only For Legally Drunk Players

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Sometime being legally drunk can actually help your golf game. –Tiger Woods

Jupiter, Florida – The King of modern golf says it is time for him to start his own invitational golf tournament.

Tiger Woods says his new PGA tourney shall be called the Tiger Woods DUI Invitational.

Each participant will be required to consume enough adult beverages prior to each round of golf in order to be considered legally drunk by trained highway patrol officers.

Once each player’s blood alcohol level is at or above the legal limit for blood alcohol content, they will be allowed to tee off in groups of fore.

Tiger Woods: “I think this will be a real good test to see how players can handle normal adversity which is part of most people’s daily lives.”

The grand prize for the Tiger Woods DUI Invitational will be a hot new car and a full case of Mondavi red wine.

Fargo Shooting Park To Add Golf Driving Range

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Range

Shooting Driving Range

Fargo, ND—The Fargo Shooting Park has decided to jazz things up a bit with the implementation of a golf driving range. The shooting park is adding a golf ball dispenser, so bring your guns and your clubs along on your next visit.

“Anything you can shoot at, you can hit a golf ball at,” says park manager Sext Buttreal. “And anything you can hit a golf ball at, you can shoot at. Gun enthusiasts can shoot their bullets at balls or our stationary targets while golf enthusiasts can hit their balls at targets or the clay pigeons in our skeet shooting gallery. With the implementation of a golf driving range, we want to add some light-hearted fun to what is typically a very masculine and, at times, sinister practice.”

Gun enthusiasts are having mixed emotions. Park regular Pevit Gankwaiter doesn’t want golfers getting in the way of his target practice. “My rifle bullets might just find a golfer’s balls if you catch my drift.”

A shooting range and a driving range in one. What could go wrong? Park officials expect the range to be ready for golfers by the end of this century.