Tag Archives: haiti

CNN’s Anderson Pooper Gets South Park Award For Swearing 81 Times In One Hour

While the moon is waxing and waning, it is never complaining. –Anthony Weiner

Cooper, TX – History was made last night when Anderson Pooper swore 81 times on an hour long prime-time show.

After Anderson decided to say “shit-hole” once, the dam had been broken, and it and variations of it were said another eighty times during his show AC360.

“Yes, it was all in response to what President Trump said earlier in the day, but that was supposedly in the privacy of the President’s White House,” says Dr. Seth Hilo, who is very smart.

Dr. Seth Hilo goes on: “What Anderson Pooper and his guests were saying was on televisions in every airport and family dining room across America.”

As for President Trump, the White House has issued this official correction: “What the President meant to say was that Haiti and all of Africa are not shit-holes, like where Oprah lives in California.”

Ironically, all of the letters in Seth Hilo can be re-arranged to spell…

Actors Claiming Nations

Celebrities Claiming Nations

Actors Claiming NationsIt seems to be, in order to be a successful celebrity, you must join the elite ranks of other celebrities and start claiming nations.  You are not considered a gifted celebrity unless you do so and you are certainly not part of the ‘special club.’

Sean Penn has claimed Haiti.  Ben Afflek has since claimed the Congo.  Angelina scoops up and claims any UN mission areas.  Leonardo DiCaprio has claimed Mozambique.  Madonna has claimed Malawi.

Just recently there was one of those high-roller poker games and they all put the various causes in a hat and each elite actor picked one. Sean Penn was pissed and tried to trade Haiti for Thailand but the group voted no.

Brad Pitt, Angelia Jolie, and Sean Penn have have been in a ruffle and tuffle as of late.  Sean Penn looks to claim all land including oceans outside of the United States.  Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie sees this as Penn intruding on their territory and would not want to have to pay Penn a ‘finders fee’ for any child they may adopt in the future.

A phone call to Penn has gone unanswered but we believe the dispute has not been resolved as of yet.