Tag Archives: harry potter

Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Moving To Moorhead Minnesota To Live A Normal Life

Baby Archie is looking forward to attending school in Moorhead.

Moorhead, MN – The bad news is things are not going well for Prince Harry and his wife and child while living in England.

The good news is that Harry, Meghan Markle, and their baby Archie will soon be moving to Moorhead, Minnesota in search of “a normal life”.

Prince Harry’s relationship with his brother William has devolved into an internecine war while the Duchess of Sussex is under constant negative media scrutiny in England.

Meghan Markle, who once enjoyed visiting a friend in Moorhead, decided the royal couple wants baby Archie to grow up in a nice, friendly, normal community like Moorhead.

Meghan also likes Moorhead because it doesn’t have a newspaper but does have an airport.

Prince Harry may want to build a castle in Moorhead for his family, along with a moat…with a boat.

The Orb Is Now Available Wherever Cool Things Are Sold

The Orb knows all.

Potter, WI – If you like ordering cool things online that are even cooler when you open the box, then Google’s new Hairy Potter Magical Orb is for you.

Tech-sperts are raving about The Orb and predicting that it could soon replace the need for Siri, Alexa, and smartphones.

Not only does it answer any and all questions you may have, but also acts as a communication device which does not need any keyboard since it can read your mind.

Google’s new Hairy Potter Magical Orb can answer any questions about the past, show what’s currently happening in the present, and accurately predict the future.

The only thing it cannot do is serve you breakfast in bed, although many people do like to sleep with The Orb.

NDSU Hires Hairy Potter As Professor Of Spells And Incantations

NDSU's Professor Hairy Potter

NDSU’s Professor Hairy Potter

Fargo, ND – The FM Observer has confirmed while drinking from the grapevine that Hairy Potter has been hired by NDSU to be the school’s first-ever Professor of Spells and Incantations.

FMO: How did you decide to take this teaching job at NDSU?

Professor Potter: Well, I’ve always herd such wonderful things about NDSU and all the great people here, and now with my film career behind me, I decided it was time to get a real job.

FMO: Do you think a lot of students will want to learn about Spells and Incantations from you?

Professor Potter: We’ve already gotten a lot of interest expressed for my S&I classes. Once the students get a taste for all that I have to teach them, these classes will be standing room only.

Moorhead Library

A New generation in Moorhead is breaking the librarian stereotype

Moorhead LibraryMoorhead, MN – As I walked into the library, the cool air with a tint of old book smell hit my nose.  It reminded me of my young days in elementary school.  Looking around I could see piles of books stacked up around me.  Some books look used and worn while other books looked lonely and unused.  Walking towards the back I couldn’t stop thinking about the stories behind all these books.  Where have they been?  How have they been treated?  As I was thinking I stumbled into a pale white figure hiding in the shadows.

Scared, I asked the sickly looking young adult if it needed help.  “Help?” it asked.  “I was going to ask YOU if you needed something.  I’m the librarian.”  Vampire boy has been a librarian for three years now.  White, pale looking skin, and fake vampire teeth is not your stereotypical appearance of a librarian.  He is not the only one.  A new generation of 20-somethings are breaking the stereotypical librarian role.  Vampires and wizards have been showing up in libraries across the US.  Movie series such as Twilight and Harry Potter have spawned a generation of wannabe vampires and magic spewing young adults.  Instead of nice quiet ladies with glasses, slightly greying hair, and a warming smile, we are now being greeted with black eyeliner, fake vampire teeth and pale skinned freaks.  Wannabe wizards with fake capes and fake superpowers have also been spotted.

For Harry Potter (yes this was his real name), he thought about attending college after high school.  Instead, he is a library assistant in Moorhead, MN.

“Initially I thought about studying quantum mechanics at Harvard but the library kept drawing me in.  Where else could I get paid to study magical powers and spell casting?  This, this is what brought me here.”

Last week a student came in and wanted to know how to cast a fire spell.  Harry Potter knew exactly how to help him.  Another young adult came in yesterday wondering how to drink blood.  Vampire boy knew exactly how to help the lad.

In the end it comes down to customer service.  What better way to provide customer service then to hire vampire boy and harry potter to help with your library needs.