Fargo, ND – It’s time once again to list the divorces going down in Cass County.
All of the following couples are uncoupling.
They have decided to part ways and go in different directions.
After some matrimonial restructuring, these former life partners will be relieved of their marital duties as they drop the terms “husband” and “wife” from their spousal relationships.
Here is this week’s listing of marriages that are being relocated to Splitsville:
Lori Aveline vs. Butch Barfneck
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: She didn’t take my last name.
Dorine Blavnok vs. Valim Blavnok
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Is Scientology a cult or religion?
Marta Blinkfire vs. Kolt Blinkfire
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Brussel Sprouts!
Jezza Borgwheezel vs. Olaph Borgwheezel
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Definition of “clean”.
Camelia Brandagamba vs. Vernius Brandagamba
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Impossible Impeachment Impasse.
Matilda Brockhouse vs. Cosimo Brockhouse
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: My spouse laughs too loudly.
Pamphila Brownlock vs. Jago Brownlock
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: My husband spends too much time in the basement.
Trixa Chertofski vs. Kinck Chertofski
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Weed gummy bears.
Robin Chubb vs. Xander Chubb
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: My spouse won’t come out of the closet.
Zelda Chunkfest vs. Lester Chunkfest
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Sense of humor differences.
Gringa Clayhanger vs. Niles Clayhanger
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: The juggling of our finances.
Starla DePhilpott vs. Gifford DePhilpott
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Who wears the pants in our family?
Camelia Diggle vs. Uffo Diggle
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Smartphone distraction.
Zoelle Ergerjoint vs. Knute Ergerjoint
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Poor grammar (past participles)
Herkna Fimvest vs. Dorknel Fimvest
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Control of the remote controls.
Bertha Flokmesker vs. Angstoid Flokmesker
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Is the FMObserver real fake news?
Gerda Galbassi vs. Bucca Galbassi
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Global Warming vs Climate Change.
Lalia Gawkroger vs. Sancho Gawkroger
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: My husband is losing his marbles!
Ingo Goldworthy vs. Bungo Goldworthy
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Quid pro snow.
Melila Headstrong vs. Eliot Headstrong
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Over-usage of our credit cards.
Lusha Inkshed vs. Joltan Inkshed
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Einstein’s theory of relatives.
Zhway Jongburg vs. Nyork Jongburg
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Different definition of decency.
Milava Konvalb vs. Bilavo Konvalb
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: The 5th Amendment.
Suzetta Lightfoot vs. Fulvus Lightfoot
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Multi-level furniture.
Thora McMolten vs. Judd McMolten
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Prayer breakfasts.
Moxie Nogbanks vs. Buster Nogbanks
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Turning our living room into a pistol range.
Psalm Olgschmacher vs. Wellington Olgschmacher
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Honda vs Hyundai.
Rhoda Puddifoot vs. Segol Puddifoot
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Selection of pizza toppings.
Astoria Quivelski vs. Cyprus Quivelski
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: She is possessed by the devil!
Dayja Rafferty vs. Conrad Rafferty
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Walls dividing every room.
Golden Rumble vs. Holman Rumble
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Number of condiments in the fridge.
Malva Sandyman vs. Filberto Sandyman
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: My spouse is colluding with the Russians.
Pandora Smallburrow vs. Togo Smallburrow
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Peanuts envy.
Cameo Stafko vs. Francois Stafko
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Usage of South Park for home schooling.
Juna Tafanofleroid vs. Zix Tafanofleroid
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Excessive flatulence.
Delvina Trumpiano vs. Rectan Trumpiano
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Different levels of hoarding.
Mariposa Twofoot vs. Milo Twofoot
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Difference between work and play.
Jessalyn Ugersmacker vs. Jax Ugersmacker
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: NFL Pickem choices.
Julla VanDruBoaix vs. Betan VanDruBoaix
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Who should walk the dog?
Elna Vanpiper vs. Wermbang Vanpiper
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Abuse of flower.
Merni Vlemeyer vs. Carvon Vlemeyer
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Severe halitosis.
Damarni Whempest vs. Jork Whempest
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Whether “memoji” is a valid scrabble word?
Bing Loo Xing vs. Bong Lee Xong
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Too much/too little makeup.
Jilian Yelpstern vs. Tonk Yelpstern
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Stacking beer cans.
Onesta Zaragamba vs. Haiduc Zaragamba
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Lack of respect for in-laws.
Anima Zorvdunkel vs. Guavchut Zorvdunkel
𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑣𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒: Making coffee.