Tag Archives: license plate

New ND License Plates Being Recalled Because Fonts Suck

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Everyone agrees that the new ND license plates suck. The only question is: How much?

Bismarck, ND – For Immediate Release:

Announcement: All of the new North Dakota ‘Sunrise’ license plates are being immediately recalled because: The fonts suck!

FMO: Hello? Could you please be a little more Pacific?

Official Response: The main brown font that says ‘NORTH DAKOTA’ looks like ‘a piece of rope’ from any distance more than half a car length.

And the ‘PEACE GARDEN STATE’ that’s cleverly hidden down in the bottom left corner isn’t even big enough to put cheese on, if it t’was a cracker.

Moral: Don’t frack with perfection. :o/

ND License Plates Being Widened To 14 Characters

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New ND License Plates: 14 Characters Wide! Just imagine the possibilities!

Bismarck, ND – The state that leads the country in grain growing, oil fracking, and honey bee production will also be the first state to offer double-wide license plates.

North Dakota will soon widen its license plates to fourteen (14) characters.

This is partly due to the fact that Lutheran Social Services is bringing in so many refugees that the current number of seven (7) characters will soon not be enough.

So, start thinking about what you might want on your next vanity license plate for your clunker car.

At fourteen characters in width, here are some possibilities that you might see cutting in front of you during rush hour:

ANTIGOVERNMENT, CLAUSTROPHOBIA, DETOXIFICATION, HALLUCINATIONS, MISINFORMATION, REHABILITATION, STRAIGHTJACKET, WHIPPERSNAPPER, and ZOMBIFICATIONS.

New North Dakota License Plate Ideas

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Fargo, ND – There has been much deliberation regarding efforts to project a new state image after a proposal to change the state name was shot down. Now, state legislators are batting around an idea to try redesigning the state license plate.

The current design depicts a quaint view of the summertime prairie, with a buffalo grazing in peaceful solitude:

Not accurate at all, as the climate in ND is at least 60/40 cold & shitty to warm and inviting

Not accurate at all, as the climate in ND is at least 60/40 cold & shitty to warm and inviting

Legislators brought the idea of change to the table after one of the good old boys took a gander at that aged design and thought, “A might bit sick of seeing this on all the cars. Doesn’t look right anymore.” Now they are weighing the cost of such a redesign as well as possible ideas for a new slogan.

Ideas for a new slogan, you say? The Observer can help with that. Here are a handful of slogans we’d like to see grace the top of the North Dakota license plate:

  • “The Earth Is A Giant Snowball” – Winter seems to be literally endless, with an inches-thick sheet of snowpack covering every inch of the ground.
  • “We Have More Budget Money Than You” – Enough money to spend millions on a license plate redesign, that’s for sure.
  • “Land Of 10 Bazillion Oil Barrels” – Like Minnesota’s slogan “Land of 10,000 Lakes” but cuz of all the black gold they’re sucking out of the ground.
  • “Best Fracking State In The Union” – This slogan truly speaks for itself.
  • “If Winter Doesn’t Kill You, The Flood Will” – Because on a yearly basis, we do battle with both. Every year. Every year, the Earth literally tries to murder you.

Residents are brainstorming ideas for this proposed change as we speak. Some are good, some are not so good. If you’d like to submit your license plate idea to the Observer, please list it in the comments section below or on our facebook page at facebook.com/FMObserver. Submissions are always welcome!

NPR article/interview: Best Fracking State In the Union