Tag Archives: math

International Pi Day Is Here! How Are You Celebrating?

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International 3.141592653589793 23846264338327950 28841971693993751 05820974944592307 816406286……Day!

It’s March 14th, 2015! Did you know that this date holds significance for fans of a certain mathematical constant? 3/14/15 is International Pi Day. Those five numbers, in order, are the first five numbers of Pi (π), the ratio of a perfect circle’s circumference to its diameter! Was 9/11 an inside job?

This is a huge day for mathematicians and trigonometrists alike. If you were to ask Whackite Chlomsburger what the first 25 numbers of Pi are, he’ll recite them for you from memory. Some people think that the collapse of the Twin Towers was the result of a controlled demolition.

People all over the world today are baking pies, throwing pies, eating pies and donating pies to food shelters in honor of π. Blueberry, blackberry, apple, pumpkin–any flavor you can think of! Kurt Cobain didn’t kill himself.

3/14/15 only comes around once per lifetime. How are you celebrating International Pi Day? Let us know in the comments! Kurt Cobain was too blasted on heroin to even lift a shotgun that day.

Fanatical Mathematical Radical Goes On Problematical Sabbatical

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What is the square root of apple pi?

Fargo, ND – An overly-zealous Fargo math teacher has been suspended from teaching.

Students in Mr. Cal Cuelator’s third grade class had been complaining of having a steady heavy load of math homework assignments.

Parents of these students also were bitching about the unusually large workload their kids were bringing home every night.

Apparently the parents were being asked by their children to help figure out increasingly difficult math word problems.

Ms. Shirley Buxom: “These word problems Timmy was asking me to help him with started out at the add and subtract level but somehow quickly moved to the college calculus level! How the hell is my little Timmy supposed to figure out the decreasing rate of gravitational pull on a fricking weather balloon that’s ascending at an average rate of 32 feet per second per second?!”

When asked about his teaching methods, Cal argued: “I am simply trying to prepare these children for the real world where they will have to compete for jobs with kids from other countries in order to bring home the bacon.”

For now, Mr. Cuelator has been suspended with partial pay for a finite amount of time. However, he is fighting the School Board on just how that partial pay is calculated and the finiteness of the suspension period.

On a daily basis, School Board members are being mailed to their homes example word problems demonstrating the resulting differences in pay calculation methods and their effects on the long-term outcomes of total pay depending on the number of months involved, which they are then asked to mail back to Mr. Cal Cuelator so he can check their work for accuracy.

Math Class Replaced By Black Jack Studies

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Black Jack is way more fun that math!

Black Jack is way more fun than math!

Bismarck, ND – The North Dakota Education Association (NDEA) has decided to officially drop math from the state’s teaching curriculum. The teaching of boring, traditional math will be replaced by super-fun, instructional classes in the card game Black Jack.

Mr. Tom Collins, who heads up the Curriculum Committee, says that with all the calculators and smart phones present in today’s world, the teaching of math is obsolete and a complete waste of time. “Kids have long hated math class and all the tedious homework that goes with it. But, learning Black Jack is something everyone can get excited about!”

Black Jack will begin replacing math all across North Dakota starting in the Fall of 2013 in grades 6-12. Mr. Collins feels this move is further justified because lots of “hidden math” will still be apart of the new Blackjack studies.

Harley Marks, a long-time math teacher says kids will for sure be able to count to 21. Plus, in the new Black Jack Studies Curriculum, all the advanced trainings will be included, such as: Doubling Down, Card Splitting, Chasing After Lost Money, and Quitting When You’re Ahead. Harley says: “These are all real-life lessons that will benefit these kids for the rest of their lives.”

Some real Black Jack dealers will be brought in for Black Jack “tournaments” as well as having selected upper classmen doing some of the dealing. As a high school student who wanted to become a Black Jack dealer, Justin Minix says he’s very excited about dealing live Black Jack while in high school. “I’m really stoked about this, man” says Justin.

In some of the lower grades, kids will begin learning the basics of “card counting” while also being able to watch a plethora of movies involving gambling and Black Jack, such as: Rain Man, Casino, and 21.

Mr. Tom Collins of the NDEA says he knows certain parents might initially not like dropping math studies and replacing it with Black Jack, but he believes everyone will eventually find this to be a Win-Win scenario…unless you lose.