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Cow

Man Sentenced To 75 Years In Prison For Stealing Neighbors Cow

CowMaza, ND – A man was sentenced to 75 years in prison this past Wednesday for stealing his neighbors cow.

Jim Benson, a local dairy farmer (whom Bill Burns worked for before joining the FM Observer), was arrested last week and charged with theft of property.

The property?  A cow.

Cops state that Mr. Benson dressed as a cow, “pranced” over to his neighbors cow barn late at night and stole their most milk producing cow, Betty.

Mr. Benson stated that he just needed some milk and that was all.  He will be eligible for parole in 10 years.

When asked if it was worth it he said, “Absolutely not. I should have just gone to the store for milk.”