Rio Linda, CA – The Good News is that the California drought will soon be over. The Bad News is that the state will soon be one gigantic mudslide. Climatologists at our FMObserver headquarters now believe that California will no longer exist as we currently know it. Within about two wet weeks, the Golden State will go from a D-4 Exceptionally Extreme Drought to an MS-4 which is Mudslide Max. The main course served at all restaurants in California will soon be Mud Pie. Instead of being a stick-in-the-mud, people will be a-stuck-in-the-mud. Once all the rain clouds finally move through, the skies will be as clear as mud. Whatever it says on your mailbox now, after it’s all over, your name is mud. James Taylor will be singing your new state song: Mud Slide Slim. But, hay, don’t forget to remember the Good News: At least your D-4 drought is over!
Gillette recently released an ad that they thought somehow didn’t look dirty at all. You may see the ad directly below.
We asked a few residents around town what their thoughts were after viewing the ad. Below are their responses.
“Is that Barack Obama raping another American? What are they doing to each other?”
“That dude is getting humped in the rump!”
“That guy in the black is going to slap the guy in the red in the butt while in the mud. That’s dirty!”
“That guy is totally getting raped in the butt.”
“Its baracka-back mountain.”
“Gooooo spank some butt on Gillette Mountain. In the mud and everywhere.”
“That certainly looks like butt sex.”
“The guy in black sure is giving everything he’s got!”
“That is gay porn right there.”
“Is he humping a guy stuck in the mud?”
“He’s definitely smelling something.”
“Well, they are definitely having butt sex.”
“Poor guy is getting raped right in the butt in the mud there.”
“Well this certainly reminds of their old saying, ‘The best a man can get.’ Ads certainly have changed.”
Well I have to agree with everyone in their response. The guy certainly looks like he’s getting raped in the buttox. I’ll leave you with this to cleanse your mind.