Tag Archives: peter pan

Covid-19 Cases Now Reported Up In Heaven, Including Some Deaths

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Saint Peter is now checking the temperature of new arrivals prior to entering the Pearly Gates.

Heaven, iCloud – The far-reaching global pandemic is now reportedly being reported up in Heaven where a number of souls have tested positive for Covid-19.

Surprisingly, a small percentage of those in Heaven with the Corona Virus have died from the highly contagious and deadly virus.

Until further notice, Saint Peter will be testing new arrivals for any signs of fever or other symptoms prior to entering The Pearly Gates.

Those who do not seem to have a clean bill of health will be asked to wait in Purgatory until they get well or until an effective treatment is available.

Peter Pan Claims He Was Abused By Michael Jackson, Until Tinker Bell Found Out!

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Michael Jackson is looking more and more guilty until disproven innocent.

Neverland, CA – The real Peter Pan is now alleging that the late Michael Jackson sexually abused him in Neverland.

[FMO wonders: Was this the reason why Michael Jackson wrote “I’m Bad, I’m Bad, I’m really, really Bad!?”]

Michael Jackson is posthumously arguing that it never, never happened and all he wanted to do was just sleep with the forever-young Peter Pan.

Peter Pan’s attorneys are saying that Mr. Pan is willing to take a lie-detector test to prove that the truth is on their side (plus, it’s all on videotape).

Luckily for Peter Pan, Tinker Bell was there at the time, to protect him from Michael’s alleged lewd advances.

Once Tinker Bell caught wind of what was going on, she used her formidable Pixie Dust powers to thwart Michael’s possible pedophiliac activities post haste.