Many find the marble bathrooms in the new ND Governor’s Residence to be very nice.
Bizmark, ND – Whether planned or unplanned is not certain at this juncture, but North Dakota’s new Governor’s Mansion looks like a highway rest area to many driving by.
Many a weary traveler going across the state have stopped at the new Executive Residence recently built for North Dakota’s Governor and have walked in to use the main floor bathroom facilities.
Some have even snooped into the kitchen fridge and played the lobby piano before continuing on with their journey.
The architect for the Executive Mansion was unavailable for comment, however he did text us back adamantly asking that we never send him another text again.
Besides looking like a highway rest area, others have likened the Executive Palace to a secretive bilateral nuclear bomb test shelter site.
But since the taxpayers of North Dakota own it because we paid for it, feel free to continue to stop and use it as a highway rest area, but please, only play the piano if you’re a certified trained professional.
Architectural rendering of North Dakota’s new Governor’s Mansion
Bismarck, ND – North Dakota has finally decided to build a new Governor’s Mansion, since its current one looks like an out-dated, dilapidated, detached garage.
The Capitol Grounds Planning Commission basically told the architects to “spare no expense” in making sure that North Dakota’s new Governor’s Residence is “twice as nice” as the one in South Dakota.
The final design for the new $55 million dwelling which was recently approved by The Commission is similar to one of Hugh Hefner’s famous Playboy mansions.
The new Gubernatorial Party Palace will reportedly have multiple large hot-tubs, an indoor shooting range, original paintings by Amsterdam Douglass, and a fully-stocked petting zoo and liquor cabinet.
Underground tunnels will allow the Governor and First Lady to comfortably walk to the Capitol during a blizzard, as well as to the former Governor’s Residence, which will be used as a Dog House for the First Dog.
Fargo, ND—An area man is allegedly subletting his creaky back yard tree fort.
Neighbors are saying they’ve noticed something crawl into and out of a tree house in the back yard of South Fargo resident Sheshy Tisslancer. “I seen somethin’ back there. Ain’t sure what, but it’s either a 200-pound raccoon or a gawd-damn homus erectus,” exclaimed neighboring resident Puter Naldow.
“Sheshy’s been keeping someone up in that tree house, i’m almost positive,” said backyard neighbor Pavia Hobbernathy. “Lot of rustling going on up there that I don’t think a squirrel family would cause.”
When asked about what’s really going on in his tree house, Tisslancer stayed tight-lipped. “Nothin’, honey.”
A simple tree fort as one’s primary residence would contradict a number of FM Housing Authority bylaws. As of press time, the FMHA has not been formally notified of any violations. Stay glued to the FM Observer for updates.