Tag Archives: spam

FM Observer Hiring SPAM Email Answerer

Give these spammers a taste of their own medicine.

Fargo, ND – Our email address fmobserver@gmail.com has been getting its ass kicked by SPAM lately and our receptionist Blenda has been unable to keep up. Between sifting through the seemingly constant flow of corporate buyout and advertising requests, she’s simply not able to sarcastically fulfill each and every Nigerian prince’s donation inquiry in a timely manner because we at FM Observer will be damned if we let one zany SPAM email go unanswered.

Are you familiar with SPAM email? Silly question–of course you are. Who hasn’t taken a leisurely dip into the cesspool that is their SPAM inbox, if only for pure amazement? Next question: do you consider yourself a smart Alec? A silly Sammy? A snarky Susan? If you answered yes to these, you’re the right person for the job.

Skint Boobidoo, III

One lucky Larry will be assigned the unending task of replying hilariously to every SPAM email fmobserver@gmail.com gets. This position can be highly amusing for the right candidate. You will engage the sender in hilarious-yet-offputting banter until the sender becomes infuriated to the point of blocking you.

Successful applicants must undergo Trump-inspired “serious vetting” prior to enlistment in this permanent part-time temporary project. Terms of employment will be discussed during vetting. Come prepared.

FM Observer correspondent Skint Boobidoo, III has already applied so your chances of landing the gig are very limited, but do try anyway. Leave your credentials in the comments section and we’ll consider hiring you instead of Skint.

Event: Weekly Spam Email Poetry Reading

Help! Nigerian Inheritance Erection Insurance.

Help! Nigerian Inheritance Erection Insurance.

Fargo, ND—Spam email: the scourge of the inbox. We all get it. Some of us have even replied to one or two. Have you ever gotten a spam email so over-the-top you just had to share its contents? Did you ever feel like sharing that spam email in a jazzy nightclub setting? Then have we got the evening for you!

An exciting new event sponsored by the FM Observer is making its way to Thady’s Lounge on 6th St (next to the haunted mannequin warehouse). The F-M Orators Club is hosting a come-one-come-all Spam Email Poetry Reading every Thursday night at 7:00pm! 

Bring a collection of your zaniest spam emails to be read live onstage! Listen as folks hilariously recite the incoherent and oftentimes inexplicable requests contained in their Spam inbox! Witness as a pair of mimes provide a live reenactment of the spam email as it’s told by the reader! Actual spam is preferred, but original spam is encouraged. Write your own spam email and share it with the rest of the group, why don’t you?

Admission is free for this gawdy, awful event. BYOSpam. Emails can be read from your smartphone if you forget your printout. 

If You Go:

Where: Thady’s Lounge

When: Thursday nights at 7:00pm

Why: ??

Nigerian Prince Email Scam Academy Set to Launch This Spring

nigerianNigeriaA country in Africa that is widely-known as a haven for princes-turned-internet scammers is slated to open its first internet-based scam academy this April. The Nigerian Scam Academy (NSA) is now accepting open enrollment for online courses in Spam Arts.

Nigerian Prince Jackson Kumalo is the Dean of Admissions at NSA. He says anyone who wants to learn how to scam the elderly should join the academy post haste:

“Our institution is excited to begin breeding Princes of Spam. Each student will be given a bogus email address, phone number, home address and Western Union wire transfer account. In addition, students will have access to hundreds of millions of dollars in play money with which to lure unsuspecting victims. Upon completion of the academy, graduates will be awarded a Certificate Of Unauthenticity and granted access to our exclusive database of gullible elderly. Sensational! Any and all who wish to become a Nigerian Prince con artist are urged to join.”

Kumalo then informed me that his grandfather had recently passed away in the Great African Tsunami and had left behind a small fortune; money that Kumalo is unable to keep for himself due to his noble status. He is offering a reimbursement of tuition amounts for all who join the academy:

“Join the NSA before enrollment closes and you will be awarded a substantial portion of Grandpa Kumalo’s inheritance, may he rest in peace! It is $5,000 USD to join. Please wire this money to my escrow, Bob Smith, and I will reimburse you that amount and an additional $10,000 in inheritance! Please do so before enrollment closes. Please help.”

Enrollment is open now until the open of spring semester, April 1st. Visit www.nigerianscamacademy.com to join. Please help.