Tag Archives: time

ND DOT Has Plans To Reduce Driver License Wait Times From 4 Hours Down To Only 3 Hours!

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At the ND DOT, the depart-mental morale is high (with an emphasis on the “mental” portion).

Fargone, ND – The North Dakota Department of Transportation has been working overtime to come up with some plans to decrease wait times to get driver’s licenses and that newly mandated REAL ID.

As wait times have recently elongated to over four hours, the ND DOT wants and needs to improve customer satisfaction by improving their services.

Some changes coming on the horizon include:

• Adding one additional service window at each and every location across the state.

• Provide stronger coffee for DOT workers.

• Make the driving test a lot easier to pass by showing all the correct answers.

Just imagine only having to wait 3 hours instead of 4!

• Add new temporary satellite offices at some popular local bars so people can have a beer while waiting.

• Call the “next served” numbers in random order instead of consecutive order to give everyone an equal chance.

• Create an alternative to the mandated REAL ID…called FAKE ID.

• Hire professional musicians, monkeys, mimes, magicians, and clowns to entertain folks while they wait for service.

Fargo Clock Shoppe Owner Jailed For Refusing To Change His Clocks To Daylight Savings Time

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Fargo man does not want to have to change all 420 of his clocks to Daylight Savings Time.

Fargo, ND – The owner of Ye Olde Clock Shoppe in Fargo is refusing to change all of the clocks in his shoppe to Daylight Savings Time.

Mr. Eagan Tinch who has owned Ye Olde Clock Shoppe since it opened in 1967 says he does not like being told by the government what he has to do to comply with “their arbitrary rules”.

Mr. Tinch in his own words: “I could say that I’m refusing to move all 420 of my clocks forward one hour on religious grounds, or perhaps even coffee grounds, but then I would not be telling the truth.”

Eagan goes on to explain his obstinance thusly: “I have never agreed that mankind can just willy-nilly change time from the way God intended it. Certain things should just be left alone.”

Fittingly, all of the letters in Eagan Tinch can be moved around to eventually spell: Anti-Change!

The Times They Are A Changin’

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Time keeps on slippin' into the future.

Time keeps on slippin’ into the future.

Time Square, Washington – Are you one of the many who forgot to move your clocks ahead last night?

Tonya Jo Thornbird from Fargo admitted: “Because we forgot to change our clocks, we missed our flight at the airport, so we then decided to attend our normal church service but missed that too.”

Maybe you chose to not participate in this arbitrary time change just like those mavericks out in Hawaii?

Charlie John Fritters from Moorhead declared: “I don’t like being told what to do, and when to do it, expecially by the government!”

Most likely, your clocks are all changed because you’re on top of everything, since you’re well informed, because you read the FM Observer.

Robert Allen Zimmerman from Malibu, California: “The slow one now will later be fast, as the present now will later be past, for the times they are a-changin’.”

The FM Observer Asks: What Time Is It?

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time

Fargo, ND—Are you a literate human? Were you taught basic fundamental math as a child? Can you tell time? Then the FM Observer wants to talk to you!

What numbers are the big and little hands on your wristwatch currently on? Are you sane? Can you see the forest for the trees? The FM Observer wants to know. Tell us what time you think it is, if your brain can comprehend it.

Is there a digital clock on your cell phone, or is your phone a dried-up banana? Were your fingers bitten off by a chupacabra? Unless you’re trapped in a time capsule that was fused shut by the military in an attempt to cryogenically preserve your body for future research, you should tell us what time it is.

How many times do we need to ask you? Our shrink is getting very concerned now that we’ve pulled a no-show for our daily therapy session. If you’d only tell us what time it is, we could go have our head examined. Please! What freaking time is it, in your solitary and desolate corner of the Earth??

Ok, here’s the deal. Tell us what time it is and we’ll let little Timmy go. The choice is yours. His life is in your hands. The clock is ticking…what’s it gonna be?